Microwaveable plastic’s monster

Explain this gap in your resume *chops your resume in half with an axe*

Bro, you’re moving too slow to perceive relativistic effects

Oldmaxxing at the grocery store. Buying "wheat bran" and "baking soda" and whatever else old people buy.

Petition to rename "Barrack HUSSEIN Obama" to "Saddam HUSSEIN Cheesecakefactory"

What’s the most socially acceptable orifice to be seen bleeding out of and why is it the nose?

Any VCs want to invest in my company ClosedAI? It’s like OpenAI but evil

Thursday is a paid holiday. Because Flavor Flav said so.

Please Respect My Dear Aunt Sally

Yall mind if I just Pinch this taco 🌮 🤌

Anyone got a Groupon for euthanasia?

Keanu’s Reeve

The Duolingo owl will be like "I will murder you and your entire family" and it doesn’t even want anything from you

Ate some general malaise with a side of ennui for lunch and now my stomach has a yearning that can never be fulfilled

Voting for local candidates in nonpartisan office is so hard because you’ve just got two guys who are basically fine

In the spirit of this comic, I armed myself with COVID and flu antibodies this week.

When I say I don’t have all day, it’s not because I’m impatient. It’s because I was cursed by a wizard who steals and hour of my life every day.

Here is your reminder that you should have a positive body image

Hmmm

Ethan Klein? Ain’t that the guy in all the Richard Linklater movies?

Sleeping in da doghouse and dogging in da sleephouse 🤔

Chalk is lowkey goated when eating chalk is the vibe

Look at herf She is so orange

Life is cruel but I’m not

Pronouns

Femboy is short for feminist boy

The European mind cannot comprehend this

She’s saying that 12 year olds who menstruate are women, not girls. Thats the Epstein class for you.

democrats lost to this guy twice

Groypers in 2016: Trump will make anime real Reality in 2026: Trump will destroy anime

How do I get ensoulled? I’m afraid I missed the bus there.

I want to go there. They got the Eiffel Tower and some pyramid thing in the background

When I was your age, robots couldn’t read letters. You had to type some letters you saw in an image in order to prove you’re not a robot.

Cherry pepis

Would you describe yourself as more cardiovascular or cardiopulmonary