Michæl Starkey

I can’t wait for the day that Siri is able to process requests in English

Hey @apple we should celebrate, Siri finally got its first thing right when I asked to play music from artists that are not sex offenders! Keep it up the good work and you might someday get another thing correct!

When it gets to roughly ¹/₃ of all visible cars are Jeep Wranglers can we just call a truce to having to wave at each other? I’m only trying to not ruin someone else’s fun by keeping this up

I’m going to throw up the next time I am responsible for some sort of parcel trash that says “designed in California” Wow, truly impressive that you had to point out that you designed your own packaging

If Siri is so bad that all HomePods are unusable, well that isn’t so green to have all of these unusable plastic speakers, the nostalgia has worn dry on Apple products

I trusted Apple yet again that they were serious about how bad Siri had become and yet Apple again ruined all trust in the company because anything Siri just simply will not ever work

Hey @apple when are you going to take Siri seriously? It just keeps getting worse

Is it even possible to register a new account to discuss one of your articles? This is an instance of tech gone wrong, just remove the comments section like everyone else if you don’t want feedback @arstechnica.com

Adapting to AI is just like dating someone new, super impressive for the first few dates and then you realize it was just white Trash the entire time

Relationships are supposed to be bad just so you can have fun stories to share with your friends

Can you please stop sending the alerts on Tuesday for the garbage that you also don’t want @Tmobile?

Once we’re Don and out on the president, can anyone guess how long that babies aren’t named Don anymore goes for?

I do not trust adults who are into the muppets

This number goes out to Donny www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwz4...

I’m not so sure how helpful of a statement these actions are but I’m fasting until SNAP benefits are distributed

@zohrankmamdani.bsky.social I left NYC for reasons (yuck Florida) I don’t quite comprehend besides rent and you are the reason to move back

I condone the answer to the question of this headline which I am hammering out on my touchscreen - the 2nd amendment www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

Correct me if I’m wrong, I feel that I certainly not the one to notice this first, but Peter Thiel and Elon Musk as Beavis and Butthead?

Hand down, the most embarrassing moment in life is when someone before you pays for your order at a drive-thru; I am not a pre-charity target

Just like Siri getting progressively worse, @apple keeps getting thread worse, watch the N1 chip take it down a notch #outsiderinformation

The directions to Newsmax on Manhattan are go uptown 6th Ave and when you reach Fox News take a hard right to 3rd Ave

JD Vance is the world’s most powerful bottom

People don’t realize how easily one can bring the US military to a screeching halt, play this song because they all have to stop and dance to it, please play this if you live in one of the affected cities www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbDH...

Who can tell what my subconscious has been giving off lately… actually it’s you and I would like to be informed

Hey @apple, stop letting my iPhone keyboard switch languages. I’ve followed the guides online and you are the one in the wrong

(2/2) @apple I recently bought an iPad and immediately returned it within 10 minutes because the sales guy said “Welcome to AI.” I don’t need an iPad when you say things like that

Simply stop it @apple, we are not your beta testers, Siri was marvelous in 2012 and you keep stepping backwards. Naming it Apple Intelligence doesn’t equate to Siri being even worse. (1/2)

Apple I or similar is even worse that Siri ever became, changing the name doesn’t mean that it works now @apple

Typically I don’t want to judge people based off looks and I would hate to ruin Mac Tonight’s reputation with a Pam Bondi comparison

Please @apple stop switching languages on the keyboard, if I set it then you should forget it, pretty please don’t bring Apple Unintelligence or Siri into it for a second opinion, I followed steps to stop this and you are still #gaslighting this all

Happy TACO TUESDAY to all those who celebrate! #Yum 😋

*Sound ON* I can’t let this gem stay hidden on my phone #Florida #Cops

Remember the South Park skit where they reappropriated the ‘F’ word as Harley Riders? Can we do that except the ‘F’ word (6 letters not 4) reappropriated to MAGA?

Anyone who thinks that the president is a Christian also is not

Siri sweats Drake, that’s why we all keep getting the response “Now playing songs by Drake on Apple Music”

If Joe Rogan can bring back the R word then I can bring back Slo Rogan

One of the least desirable situations to get roped into in life is having to watch Star Wars

I could only best describe @apple intelligence as eating McDonald’s, terrible by every metric

Lovely day for yet another Trump flinch

I loved @theatlantic.com a long time ago, and I still do for the same reasons

It just so happens that all of the holidays in this newfound cult just so happen to magically align with the dates of the most significantly important events which I had already been observing! I know what you’re about to say - “How convenient is that?”

Does anyone have solid plan to prevent T-Mobile from sending out all of these coupons? Paying for Verizon all of a sudden seems to be less expensive

To everyone out there that Snapchat keeps suggesting myself as a friend to - i apologize, this was not my suggestion

You only get to cry wolf twice, not 400 x

Starlink is not reliable, do not fly in the United States any further if this FAA procedure goes through

Musk is a raccoon, they/them causes significant damage to steal trash

Save America; Save the Planet

Next time you hear Musk refer to any type of syndrome remember that it’s highly unlikely that he is NOT peeing blood due to Ketamine Bladder Syndrome due to his very significant abuse of… illicit drugs. No worries, a cybertruck will mask penile embarrassment… if driving through snow is not involved

Anyone still wearing that red mega-Nazi hat after all this is the enemy. I swore allegiance to this country to defend the constitution of this country from enemies both foreign and domestic. Funny because the two at the top are both foreign and domestic enemies