Bobby Brown

Starting a tribute band called Bob Cigar & the Silver Bullet Band. But it’s just me ripping cigs & beers in the garage, occasionally groaning “Katmandu” followed by mumbled gibberish until I pass out.

Might go viral requesting payment from these College GameDay signs.

Lost my home and family compulsively Cash Apping college kids panhandling for Beer Money with GameDay signs

Ok GameDay kids, the Venmo sign thing is over. Let’s move on.

The only thing more miserable than watching the Chiefs is watching the Chiefs in prime time.

Romeo Doubs has no need for the Guardian Cap. He’s such a bad receiver he wouldn’t even catch CTE.

If Rece Davis and Chris Fowler were hanging off the edge of a cliff and Herbie could only save one of them Good Son style, who would he save?

Can’t even hear Ted Cruz speak over the boos on College GameDay. Fuck that guy.

Troubled psychiatrist develops Death Therapy while on vacation at Lake winnipesaukee.

NYC cop travels to LA to spend holidays with estranged wife, have a few laughs.

Kekambas Legend G Baby

Somebody needs to ask Tim Kurkjian when the last time a team pinch hit three batters in a row. #RedSox #Yankees

A proposed rule fueled by Trump’s conspiracy theories would require the USPS to keep a list of voters it believes should be allowed to vote by mail—and give them the power to hold those ballots hostage. Urge them to say NO and help protect voting by mail: act.standupamerica.com/letters/cte-...

Show Landon Donovan’s hairline you cowards!

Red Sox having Aaron Burr from “Hamilton” perform the anthem at Fenway Opener is appropriate because nobody knows how to ruin everything with a perfectly good shot quite like Aaron Burr.

The SF Giants broadcaster sort of mumbles “Jazz Chisholm” to sound like “jism” and I think he’s doing it on purpose.

If I were Mike McDaniel, I would’ve put the most unhinged Player Prop Parlay in for this game.

Utterly unacceptable for Texas A&M to rock “Mo Bamba”. You’d think the Aggies would be more aware of stolen valor. Revoking all Horns Down privileges for the remainder of the season.

I’m no college football expert. But Miami is not going to win this game if Malachi Toney has the same amount of snaps under center as Carson Beck.

Manny Diaz on behalf of all Miami Hurricanes fans, you are forgiven. #CFP Also, I will never besmirch the name Christian Laettner ever again.

Just realized that Manny Diaz reached an ACC title game before Mario Cristobal.

Who can I give my money to for a Cardi B simulcast of Patriots games?

One day I hope to love something as much as Gordon Lightfoot loved making music about railroads.

Dick Cheney died just in time to roll over in his grave after NYC elects a Muslim Mayor.

Josh McDaniels hates Trayvon Henderson with the fury of a thousand Belichick’s.

Fuck YouTubeTV and ESPN for taking a wrecking ball to my beloved Saturdays.

The Dolphins are a deeply unserious football team.

Ladd McConkey sounds like a name made up by my best friend in 6th grade.

I blame Pipo

If you formed a Mega Team out of the Brewers, Mariners and Blue Jays, I genuinely don’t believe that team could beat this Dodgers squad. Shame on you MLB for allowing this to happen.

Swinging at the first pitch tonight in honor of Red Sox Legend, Mike Greenwell. RIP Gator.

I wish I had more Bills fans in my life. The 7am “Good Morning, have a blessed day text” to them is wonderfully gratifying. Namaste.

Red Sox pitcher, Connelly Early

The violent swing I’ve had from “this Red Sox team is deep and built for an October run” to “this lineup has no thugs, we’re frauds, it’s over” in the past 48 hours is truly insane.

We are going to break the sportswriters of America on October 24th when the Springsteen movie and World Series open on the same day.

You’ve never been as horny as Mark Schlereth gets when a fullback clears the A gap on a goal line handoff. #NFL

Every time the camera cuts to Coach Vrabel on the Patriots sideline he’s throwing a Zyn pouch in his face.

That was the greatest College Gameday kick of all time. Congrats to Carson and Michael!

Was reprimanded during a webinar after I compulsively mimicked the British moderator by saying “conshoemer” repeatedly until being reminded to mute microphones.

I will get a Mike Tirico tattoo if he says “Cam Skattebo” with a Sandler flourish just one time.

Way too many shit flags this week NFL. Refs love that camera time.

I don’t care how much bread he puts in my jar. If the old man sitting next to me starts making love to his tonic & gin, I’m punching him in the face.