Stephen Rys

Less Grand Theft Auto and more Grand Theft Oughta go to the polls.

Headlines in the form “[deranged opinion], says X” should be punishable by law.

@americanamemes.bsky.social Whenever Caruso wants to build a new mall

*Murdoch buys NY Mag* 1 week later:

Embarassing. Take it all the way Knicks, you deserve it.

I don’t know what skeletons Gavin Newsom has, but he definitely has them.

I bet his dad has a podcast where he refers to his audience as “folks”.

@nytimes.com Yeah so maybe stop doing this

When you realize eugenics is the goal, it makes sense.

NY Times moved to the "he was no boy scout" stage of grief.

www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/8685...

When he dies, do they fly the Nazi flags at half mast?

If law enforcement tries to detain or arrest you illegally, you should be legally allowed to fight back in self defense.

Sums up ICE members perfectly... 🤨

Everyone is arguing whether or not the woman in Minneapolis wasn’t trying to run over the ICE agent. Even if she was, so what?

The strongest case for a secret episode of Stranger Things is the mountain of unresolved plot holes and story arcs and no one considered that maybe the Duffer brothers are just bad writers.

It's gonna happen this year.

Epstein to Nassar: “you are all I worry about my love”

I’m just waiting for that one “Trup” they forgot to black out.

I’m pretty sure the blacked out entire pages and not just names because they didn’t want us to play ‘Mad Libs’ with Trump’s name.

Congratulations to everyone who wrote an op-ed about how he just wants americans to eat better

Pete Hegseth gives major Brent Norwalk vibes.

“Smoking looks cool” isn’t the message we should be sending.

Calling your doctor to say “I’m running late” shouldn’t give patients a black check to just show up whenever.

I’m gonna start a conservative podcast and start each segment with “folks, ya can’t make this up!”

I just realized who Curtis Sliwa reminds me of.

We're suing the U.S. Department of Education for weaponizing the Public Service Loan Forgiveness program. This administration is trying to illegally cut off loan forgiveness eligibility for organizations and governments based off ideals it doesn't agree with. I'm fighting back.

When it finally happens

What the actual fuck

Can’t wait to engage in another debate about the shooter’s ideology instead of just passing gun control laws.

He's not even hiding it anymore. They're invading their own country.

The Federal Trade Commission filed a lawsuit against Ticketmaster and its parent company, Live Nation, on Thursday, alleging that the company willingly misleads consumers about ticket prices and cooperates with scalpers to markup resale prices.

Actually I changed my mind. Please have Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell read the transcript. @colbertlateshow.bsky.social

Please, for the love of god, have Darren Criss and Michael Cera do a table read of this

This kid entrenched himself in Groyper culture and plotted this whole Kirk assassination for months only to have conservative news outlets claim he was in a sexual relationship with his trans furry roommate.

When you didn’t do any work on the group assignment but still get an A.

South Park gettin canceled.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is not a doctor. He's not even human. He's a cartoon. Some of the things he does can cause a person to get hurt, expelled, arrested, and possibly deported. To put it another way: don't try this at home.

Someone somewhere is dying on ECMO because the heart transplant meant for him is going to Donald Trump.

Our government is demanding children’s medical records, birth dates home addresses & social security numbers. Why? Because they’re transgender. Fascism at work.

While heavy sack bearings are up a shocking 900%

*Trump administration commits unspeakable atrocity* Left discourse on social media: HaHa wUt a hYpOcRiTe, SaYiNg tHe oPpOsiTe iN ThiS CLiP fRoM A YeAr aGo. WuT A DuMaSs!1

“No wrongdoing”