Spirit of the Spooptober Revolution

People who keep pointing out that golf courses use as much water as data centres as some sort of defence of data centres drastically underestimate the amount we also hate golf.

Loving all the AirBnB host meltdowns this weekend. How about someone starts a new AirBnB clone that has rules baked in from the start that stop it turning into an unlicensed hotel business? Like, it HAS to be your home, for a start. Also, if there's no breakfast it's just a "B".

Like... I KNOW Eaten Alive is bonkers, that's kind of the point of watching it, right? But every time it surprises me anew with just HOW fucking bonkers it is. Genuinely great movie.

Nice to hear Harlon Coben saying on #DesertIslandDiscs that he'd take a book he hasn't already read... honestly have no idea why more people don't do that!

Hellraiser III isn't very good. Which is a shame, because it has some great bits and lines, the first half nails the vibe and Elliott was DEFINITELY an influence on Kojima creating Clifford Unger- but fuck me does it turn to absolute dogshit after the club massacre.

Kinda mad how Saw, which started off with an intriguing locked-room mystery, degenerated into tedious torture porn, while Hellraiser, which is literally ALL ABOUT extremity, ended up being a series of mediocre monster movies.

Hellraiser II is the best Hellraiser sequel because it Gets It. (So far Hellraiser: Revival also Gets It). Also because it does SO MUCH on a medium budget with practical effects.

Pre-empting the "when do British people turn their heating on" discourse by turning it on now despite the cost. Not because I'm rich or profligate, but because I have absolutely no real sense of the future being a thing and am very prone to making bad decisions.

This royal shit is tedious as fuck. I don’t even pay that much attention to drama in my OWN family, and they’re actually nice.

Give a man reggae and he’ll skank for a day. Teach a man reggae and he’ll try to get The Lord Is My Shepherd to Christmas No 1. My advice is to stick to the former where possible.

@stoatie.bsky.social freq.org.uk/reviews/neurosis-an-undying-love-for-a-burning-world/ ..extreme music that evokes transcendence of one kind or another rather than just transgression for its own sake, and they .. make music that strips your soul and lets it rebuild itself better #metal #musicreview

Videogame called Defamation Suit Larry, where you just go round making shit up about famous people.

A lot of Monty Python hasn’t aged well, but “and now a massage from the Swedish prime minister” will always be a top-tier thing to say to break an awkward silence.

Looking at all the confusion over which Murakami has died makes me fearful of the absolute chaos that will ensue when we lose a Skarsgård.

Well that fucking sucks. www.theguardian.com/books/2026/o...

Sorry to keep banging on about this, but I’m also fascinated by what Sir Cliff means by “learning reggae”. I can’t imagine him sitting at the back of reggae classes giggling and passing notes, so I can only assume he has a reggae tutor coming to his home.

Aw man, Hellraiser's always a) even better than I remembered and b) way cheesier in the last ten minutes than I remembered. Still, even given that it's up there as one of the greatest horror movies ever made.

Fuck it, if Sir Cliff’s going reggae we might as well go hog-wild with it. Can’t wait for Shakin’ Stevens’s power electronics project, or the inevitable Darkthrone covers album from Sporty Spice.

Ironically, if Cliff Richard’s reggae Christmas song isn’t released under the name Cliffy Jim, it will be proof of the non-existence of God.

Hellraiser: Revival is great so far. Very much an old-skool horror game, with a bunch of trial and error instakill stuff which doesn't often happen any more so took me a while to recalibrate myself to, but it's very, VERY Hellraiser. Think I'm gonna enjoy this one.

Obviously fuck antisemitism, but it kiiiinda looks like Diane Abbott was right about the “hierarchy of racism”, doesn’t it?

I do have to wonder if one reason broadcast TV is struggling is because, having focused so heavily on bullshit reality and game shows primarily because they're cheap, they then decided to do the same things again but with celebrities, who aren't.

Felt cute, might pity some fools later.

Ultra-performative arms dealer who wears flag badges of both sides he’s arming in a war.

Excellent service at the hospital, but I do have to query the choice of reading material in the waiting area. Who the fuck’s reading Tatler who doesn’t go private?

TERF is *not* the new punk. If it’s anything it’s the new whatever the fuck kind of butt rock Disturbed are.

It’s a shame America’s become a country I never want to visit again, because I always thought if I ever got sick of my daily life I could start a new career as a Bigfoot hunter, and you can’t really do that in Hackney.

Up at FUCKING HELL WHAT EVEN IS THIS o’clock to go for an MRI.

Goodnight from the nurses in Coreham General’s canteen, unable to resist discussing the strange man in A&E whose silver jumpsuit couldn’t be cut off even with the sharpest scalpels. Goodnight from Laura Mills, wondering if she can capture souls in her compact mirror. Goodnight from Hookland.

Can't wait for the first episode of Celebrity Prison Bible Study with Russell Brand and Tommy Robinson.

Gamer chuds suddenly deciding EA is on their side because it closed BioWare is the perfect illustration of how culty the whole "anti-woke" thing is.

If Ambridge was a PROPER village they could just sacrifice Tom to the Old Gods to aid Vince's recovery. Not even that keen on Vince tbh, but when the Old Gods are hungry you don't argue. #TheArchers

More characters should just stand around bitching about Tom. Honestly, a full episode of that would be cool. Fuck it, if they weren't closing 4Extra I'd say they could go as far as an entire series. #TheArchers

Fucking crazy to think that Elon Musk is richer than the dog off Frasier.

The true message of Dracula is “don’t be an estate agent”.

Was having trouble sleeping last night so I tried casting Muppets Blood Meridian. Obviously Kermit’s the Kid and Miss Piggy’s the Judge, but then I got stuck, apart from maybe Fozzie as Tobin the ex-priest.

I saw Goodie Proctor asking Grok what to have for breakfast.

I've always thought a good way to do a horror game that WASN'T asymmetrical multiplayer would be to follow the Alien: Isolation template, with a scripted story but an autonomous killer. How cool would that be?

I miss the Friday 13th video game. That was so much fun.

“WOKE TV SHOW MAKES JASON SYMPATHETIC” is the new “WOKE SCHOOLS TEACH THAT FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER IS SYMPATHETIC”. I swear none of these people know the original stories.

Kinda funny that A24 chose the moment they were riding high on Backrooms with Crystal Lake AND You Can See Everything in the pipe to torch all their goodwill by signing that AI deal with Google, innit?

The piss tank on the ISS is now 53% full.

Pretty sure we’re about due another attempt to sell us 3D TV.

I just wanna give Young Jason in Crystal Lake a hug and say "it's OK, little buddy, don't be so sad, you keep doing your thing and one day you can go into space".

Not sure having Wee Tommy and Russell Brand in the same court on the same day is such a great idea. Being around a raging cokehead can't be a good idea for a rapist in recovery.

The Avengers only it’s Minneapolis Spider-Man, French Pink Panther and the Portland Frog.

This “flying car” shit is bollocks. If I watched Superman because it said “you will believe a man can fly” and he just did a backflip I’d want my fucking money back.

Not watched Crystal Lake yet, but a lot of people seem to be complaining that they changed Jason's date of birth. Unless they ever sent him a card they can shut the fuck up because they clearly never cared.

Thing I love about Dune: Awakening is you can tell it was obviously made by people who LOVE Dune. Just met a Suk doctor in Arrakeen who was adamant the conditioning was unbreakable and it would be ridiculous to abduct someone's family, which is really funny if you're a Dune nerd.