The Smartest Floridian

I felt the best first post for me to make is my pinned post from the old bird site.

💯

Diminish an anime Lizard Ball

Ladies, stop wasting your time on men you think you can fix and find one you know you can break

I got suspended out of my account for Suspicious Activity, but I don't see any posts that aren't mine. I have to wonder what the SkyBots saw that they felt was suspicious... Regardless, I'm glad to be back in.

It Conquered The World for Tax Purposes

I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards.

If I wanted pizza soup I'd make tomato soup with a grilled cheese sandwich and dip the latter in the former.

Event Horizon, but keep Laurence Fishburne.

If I had the money I'd do up a CSM army dedicated to Malal and name it "Chaos Uninvited". #Warhammer

The Last Starfighter. The scene where they're executing a Rylian spy by *drilling* into the top of their head with a laser while he's just screaming and screaming.

A man walks into a bar and gets knocked out cold. The man behind him ducks under the bar and walks past.

www.youtube.com/shorts/zWhiZ...

gn

That... is a *terrible* location for that tag

The mint is the planchette.

Name a Nintendo character, wrong answers only.

So true

Negativity like this is why the "block" option is so good. Nobody needs this in their lives.

#StevenUniverse #Amethyst

tl;dr if your cat isn't killed he won't die so soon

If you’re moved by this guy crying boy oh boy are there some other images and videos you should check out

the face of a cat who has literally never been fed in his life

I have a joke about Paranoia but I'm not sure either one of us is cleared for it.

This always sucks and it's weird that the answer is potentially "more sweets" but anything with peppermint or ginger really helps the bubbly guts.

use smaller pasta. 😏 angel hair is al dente in less than five minutes.

"What was that last part? You sound like you got something in your throat..."

Considering our current president, women *definitely* aren't the unstable moody ones.

Cheers for copping to it! Stolen valor is bad but stolen fellatio is so much worse. 😏

at his size, a crown of thorns would have been, like, 2 thorns.

clearly the problem is nonfiction doesn't have very believable stories 😏

This is hilarious. Do you think they need to stock up on ghoul costumes, or will they just sell his suits? 😄

just thinking of the odd creative decision in the music video for "The Motown Song" by Rod Stewart where he's walking away with a dog walking next to him. clearly they don't want to show a dog's butthole, so what to do? give the dog a tail to obscure that portion of anatomy? Nah. Cake that dog up!

Post something random or you'll have an awful September

gnocchi is easily in my top 10 favorite things to do with a potato, and there are *a lot* of things you can do with a potato.

the egg-and-spoon race ain't got shit on this

you know what I haven't seen in a while, that I always lowkey loved? if you owned other games by a developer, they'd give you some bonus in the current game.

i've had enough politics for today. the only indictment I wanna hear about is if a lesbian eats a peppermint patty.

Some people must be *made* of milk!

Going through a midlife crisis in 2026 >I bought a slightly fancier ramen to have as dinner. >I will never financially recover from this lapse in judgement.

Honestly? Respect! She shat her bed and now she's gonna sleep in it.

Yeah, I want my bread to be dry no matter the sandwich. There's no reason to make it soggy on purpose. That's the whole purpose of the bread: to be able to eat the meal without messing up your hands. (Warning on the vid: Garron likes the odd swear) youtube.com/shorts/dEaZU...

I was thinking of hired professionals, and the term "time is money." Time is time and money is money and if you find someone who insists they can save you one be prepared to pay the other.