Suella De-Vil Shadowy spokesdemon for learning stuff

“All by myself Don’t wanna be all by myself”

As an ex pub landlord I wouldn’t want them in my pub

Looking backwards? Says a party that wants to go back to imperial measures Which we still use quite a bit actually

That high??

This is such a good album Playing it on repeat After two plays it’s like you’ve known it all your life And I’m seeing him on Thursday (a gig! Not a date) Cannot wait

FFS as if he goes into a petrol Station His driver or gamekeeper will fill up his Disco

Just spent 20 mins trying to find the digital tickets I bought for a gig on Thursday! Took some doing!

True I’d definitely have left the planet if she was still in power

Look- I need 18 baths a day due to all the shit I spout!

Haha! Charlie saying “your dad will love my brother”

And now we go live to Deforms budget announcement

Yes Nob, sorry Bob You should know You helped break it

"May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "it must be very rich and tender by now, I've been force-feeding myself for months." I’m sure Mike has!

4) and when he’s done fucking off, fuck off some more

It’s almost as some of the Deform supporting commentators online don’t actually exist IRL

Were they all at work? Haha - sorry - of course not!

Knowing Restore it’s probably a box brownie

Got locked in a car park Well My car did

I’m sure the Speccy did a similar article when Fartage and Mad Nad we’re in the jungle

Six?

Deform Taking you back to the 18th century

Ode to Mike Graham Mike is stout Mike is ugly Mike is drunk Yet he acts so smugly Mike is short Mike’s unfit Mike’s a failure He tends to talk sh*t Mike thinks concrete Grows on trees Drinks 15 pints And smells of cheese Mike is bold Mike is bad Mike has issues He is sad.😢

Took my dog for a walk tonight Ended up in the village local Had a couple of pints Got back home and a bit later realised I’d left my torch on the bar Went back Torch was there And got a free pint!

No There’s not a single reason There are multiple

IRREGULAR DATE UPDATE Got to my ladies house at 9. day was a right off as it was so stormy so we stayed in as everywhere was closed! we managed to survive a whole day from 9am to 6pm in a house. With a three year old! & a golden retriever puppy we didn’t kill each other! Yes I carved pumpkins

Think they look pretty good!

Oh America Just fuck off

I’m a part time self published author in a v niche field - and really makes me laugh that I’ve sold a lot more books than ……erm……me

Wait til they see my claim for asses milk and honey

Fartage really isn’t that popular is he Only other leader he managed to beat is Zack - by 52-48

Release the Gimp

Up at 7am on a Sunday Taking my daughter to work for 8am. Thr shop doesn’t open til 10! Then drive up to my girlfriends But there’s cricket on the radio at 8am! That helps

Yeah I hate the Slithy Gove But he can be quite funny

I didn’t think they liked face coverings

Aw bless them They are sooo desperate to be able to carry AK-47s aren’t they? And is that pose where you’re feeling your man boobs supposed to be a tough look?

How come my daughters- who live their lives on line Are never on line?

I don’t like Kemi I really done like her But this is so out of order

Sad thing is we all know who “him” is

Coolest looking film/TV character? I’ll start

The USA

My dog in the pub saying to me “I know you have treats”