Andrew Taubman

@peanut64.bsky.social A Brief History of Time Lords

My partner actually told me today we were going out to buy 4 candles. “Why do we need fork handles?” I asked. She’d never seen or heard of that sketch.

With self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him.

Catch 22: It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honour, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice.

We do not actually own anything we “own”. We are just the current custodians of it. Our job is to pass it on in at least good condition as we received it.

Pretty boy, fuss over bad back (6)

Adolf Hitler: “Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see paradise as hell, and also the other way round, to consider the most wretched sort of life as paradise.”

Change a song title to medicalise it: Wee didn’t start! The fire! Yaws is No Disgrace They Call the Wind Malaria The Year of the Catarrh Bedsore Burning

Friends are the universe’s apology for relatives.

Michel de Montaigne: “Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.”

Vale the Rock Brain of the Universe! www.smh.com.au/culture/tv-a...

Sir John Harington: “Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.”

Carl Sagan: In science it often happens that scientists say 'that's a really good argument; my position is mistaken’ and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion.

John Maynard Keynes: “The market can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent.”

Charles de Gaulle: “Patriotism is when love of your own people comes first; nationalism, when hate for people other than your own comes first.”

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. Nor can you reason someone out of the emotion they are currently feeling.

Film producer Franklin Leonard: “When you are accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression. It’s not.”

Red hat! Alas! Alack! (6)

There’s a record store in Mexico that sells recordings of German art songs below cost, to get customers through the door! It’s called Los Lieder.

Surgeon: Your wound is now all sewn up, but no one it to touch those stitches until you see me again! Me: Okay then, suture self.

She’s on the edge (5).

Marcus Julius Philippus, aka Philip I, was the emperor in 248AD who presided over the opulent celebrations of Rome’s founding 1,000 years before. His disastrous reign ended when he was killed by his own troops 2 years later. The current US President is presiding over the US’s 250th anniversary.

During Prohibition in the US it was possible to buy a brick of compressed grapes and yeast. The instructions that came with it said: “Do NOT soak this brick in 3 gallons of water and leave to ferment for 3 days. If you did that it would turn into wine, which would be illegal!”

The Duty of Australians, by Henry Lawson: “Tis our duty to the stranger … when he’s foreign and his English very young ... to give him our last spare moment and our pleasure to defer – he’ll be father of Australians, as our foreign fathers were”

@500songspodcast.bsky.social Why is every second person in the first ~100 eps called Berry? We have Richard, Chuck, Jan, Gordy … I’ve probably forgotten some.

Yellow-tailed black cockatoos have the most beautifully mournful cry in nature. youtu.be/iQVJMpaVFuc?...

Lookout, cheeky bird! (8)

You won’t be held accountable in the afterlife for your actions, because there isn’t one. You are however accountable for your actions in the here and now. Have you made other people’s lives better overall? Will people be sorry when you go? You have the opportunity now to affect that; use it.

You want me to have your back? But won’t you miss it?

Keep water around split atom (4)

Reasons to be cheerful #7: Fascists: another one bites the dust! And another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust!

Reasons to be cheerful #6: As I look through my bedroom windows today, there’s not a cloud in the sky. Literally.

Reasons to be cheerful #5: I never have to use Microsoft Office again, just cancelled my subscription. The free apps in MacOS are perfectly fine, indeed better for my modest needs.

Reasons to be cheerful #4: Those sickeningly plutocratic tech bros trying to live forever, won’t.

Reasons to be cheerful #3: Australian sparkling Shiraz is as good as ever.

Reasons to be cheerful #2: Being under 6 feet is preferable to being 6 feet under.

Reasons to be cheerful #1: we didn’t happen to evolve to feed our babies like birds do, by throwing up in their mouths.

Why is the cupboard I keep all our pest stuff in, always full of cockroach poo? There is no food in or near it! Do they just like living dangerously?

You should be looking for Dark stuff in the universe. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

I’ve never metaphor I didn’t like.

We have Mesmerise and Vulcanise. Who exactly was Pulver?

bsky.app/profile/grea...

When does a joke become a Dad joke? When it’s fully groan.

Blokes’ winning threat (6)

Four artists are a Quartet, nine a Nonet. So naturally Monet is a singular artist.

It turns out that ALL natural history museums are in fact artificial. Huh.

Working on breaking bog, urinal (9)

bsky.app/profile/okea...

I'd enjoy some four person "tennis" in "Siberia", if you'll pardon the doubles on tundra.

Last time I went into the lab they put me in a glass dish - I was Petrified!