Tar Heel Guy

There’s something endearing about the way Mary Peltola refers to parentheses as “parens.” I think I would vote for her just based on that if I lived somewhere kind of silly but badass like Alaska.

Kind of wild that you can see #1 Miami at home this weekend for $24 but you’d have to pay at least $80 in Chapel Hill next week or $755 at Notre Dame in 2 weeks.

I need a sitcom about these 2 guys. Alternatively, I feel like the first guy is MAGA finding out the unredacted Epstein Files are about to be released and the second guy is MAGA 2 minutes after opening them.

Yeah, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this isn’t true.

Jesus Christ, PayPal bot.

Holy crap. I just rediscovered this. This didn’t age well at all.

I’m sitting here listening to Rand Paul lecture someone else about arrogance and I think I’m about ready for another dinosaur asteroid.

I never thought I would pull against a USA soccer team but here we are. I hope Belgium hands them their ass tomorrow. I’d much rather lose honestly than win because of cheating and corruption.

If you ever want to know what it feels like to have no shame and no conscience just imagine yourself as Bill Cassidy.

Earlier I told my GF that Trump was going to the Knicks game and she had no idea what I was talking about. I said it means he’ll get booed the most ever, the network will try to hide it, but people in the arena will release the truth. And somehow the Knicks will lose because he’s Trump and #ETTD.

It’s amazing that I, someone who has almost no interest in hockey at all, can watch one game and understand a rule better than Mark Messier, one of the best players ever.

It just occurred to me that somewhere in the world there has to be a person who has only barely heard of Shohei Ohtani and thinks that his name is something like Joey Otani and that’s he a bad ass mfer from Brooklyn.

Pretty much. #taco #tacotuesday

There’s no actual way to defend against Duke if Cam Boozer can just get the ball 20 feet out, put his head down, dribble straight into anyone between him and the basket, shoving them out of the way, until the refs call a foul on one of the people he shoves.

I thought that Elon Musk had reached the highest level of corniness a human could reach but Pete Hegseth may still prove me wrong.

I used the words “zeitgeist” and “lexicon” in the same conversation about Barbie today at a bar. Am I fancy?

Going to tell my grandkids that this was the 2026 USA men’s curling team with their alternate in the center.

If we even have game shows in 2028.

I just had a notion to look up a box score for an old UNC NCAA tournament game and discovered that Jeff Fryer played 18 minutes against them in the game, shot 14 3’s and committed 4 fouls. A more quintessential YMCA league stat line I’ve never seen.

Find someone who loves you the way KenPom hates UNC. Kentucky (#15) and Kansas (#20), both with 3 losses, are ranked ahead of a 7-1 UNC team (#22) who beat both of them and whose only loss is to Michigan State (#10). 🤷‍♂️

I heard UNC just turned the ball over three more times while they were in the locker room at halftime.

It’s so wild that Hubert Davis was one mediocre shooting half by Kansas away from being a national championship coach.

There’s also the less fun part of watching England, Mexico, and Argentina all seeing who can score the most goals against Cape Verde to help their goal differential.

If ever there were a need for a GIF of Marcia Brady saying, “Oh, give me a fucking break, Jan” it is now.

I feel like the U.S. Olympic trials for curling is like if there were 2 bowling alleys in America and each one picked its best guys and they played each other every 4 years. That’s pretty accurate, yeah?

I can only assume that Mike McDaniel is just trying to get fired at this point.

Many people are saying that Trump gave Bill Clinton a blow job and there are pictures of it in the Epstein files. I’m not saying it but many people are.

Am I wrong?

Did I just hear Troy Aikman say that both offenses are showing how good they are as a game went to half 0-0?

I’ve heard this idiot announcing the UNC-Stanford football game say a few times that Stanford is utterly dominating the game and UNC is lucky to still be in it. Stanford has 100 yards of offense at halftime. I’ve never heard a supposedly neutral announcer be this biased before. Embarrassing for him.

How embarrassing is it to be in body armor and have a guy throw a sandwich at you and then you go to court and lie about the sandwich exploding all over you and the jury laughs at you? How can a girl ever get wet in your presence again?

Stephanie Ruhle’s show had an um, weird vibe to it tonight.

My first thought was “This crazy woman really thinks she’s important enough that someone would want to kill her?” and then I remembered she signed the Epstein petition and realized “Oh, yeah, maybe she’s getting calls from inside the house.”

I’m sure there’s a betting market for this somewhere so what are the odds on Erika Kirk being the next First Lady?

That was an all-time baserunning blunder to end Game 6.

The team on the right is down 14-6 at halftime because they’re the Dolphins and of course they are.

And also this gem (also with comments disabled). Really odd to describe putting a guy with 99 stolen bases over the past 3 seasons on first base every time he comes up as “excluding him from play.”

I mean, this was just too easy to see coming.

I see walks coming. And the first of those walks scoring the winning run.

Starting to feel a little left out because I haven’t been thrown out on the basepaths in this Dodgers-Blue Jays game.

This is a pretty top-level uniform matchup on Sunday Night Football.

I can’t even imagine what this is supposed to mean.

How many times has Elliot Lurie played “Brandy” and why do I want it to be like 10,000 more times?

Some on the left are saying that House Republicans should do their jobs, but Adelita Grijalva was elected almost a month ago and hasn’t shown up for a single vote, so that kind of destroys their argument.

This is why being a Dolphins fan in 2025 is great. We don’t have to deal with the roller coaster on the left, just the predictable misery of the right.

People, seriously, Colombia is the country Trump wants to declare war on. Not Columbia, the capital of South Carolina. I don’t think he wants war with them. Yet. Not Columbia, the university in New York. OK, he probably does want to declare war on them.

Crazy that the big divide between parties in America now is that one party thinks that rich adult males shouldn’t be raping underage girls and the other party thinks that people who have that opinion are terrorists.

Funny that the candidate in the NYC mayoral debate who speaks the best and most understandable English is the “socialist Muslim” Zohran Mamdani and not Andrew Cuomo or Curtis Sliwa who both sound like anchor babies.