TheWebMachine

I'll "tone down the rhetoric" when President InEpstein's social media accounts are shut down permanently. Until then, you dumb cucks can sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up; either you own the monster you created, or IT. OWNS. YOU. May you feel the same anxiety millions of Americans do daily. 🖕🤬

This kind of pricing either already *is* or goddamn *should be* illegal. Private purchase clubs like Sam's or Costco are one thing, as you need a membership just to get in the door. This is manipulative anti-consumer bullshit.

You know how I know one or more Railroad Commissioners are on the ballot this election? The horns on the trains driving down the track near my house are blaring TWICE AS LOUD as usual and AT ALL HOURS OF THE FUCKING NIGHT! 🤬🖕

Good fucking luck! We haven't enforced Antitrust laws in this country since we slapped Microsoft down nearly 30 years ago...and they are back to doing the SAME EXACT SHIT. We have a government by the billionaires for the billionaires, regardless of how the election turns out, w/both sides complicit.

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While we're picking apart the validity of people's names, Vice Prez "JD" Sheen-Estevez has had his name changed like 3 times now. 🤷‍♂️

The explanation for this pattern is pretty damn simple: Every time a singular party gains a majority power in the three houses of government, they run amuck, piss everyone off, and cause the massive political pendulum to swing to the other side. This is the shitshow of every two-party system.

MINNESOTA: “I don’t think about myself. The youth are the most innocent. Anything you can do to save them is worth it.” ♥️ Endless stories attack the MN Somali-American community— but Ebro Ahmed🦸🏽‍♂️saves a bus 🚌 full of kids and stories mostly leave out that he’s Somali? 🤔

Remember, he wants you to vote like he's on the ballot... ...and to think that this rusty bent crank shaft used to make fun of Joe Biden's sunsetting!

Are hallucinations a stage of dementia? Asking for an enemy...

Rob Bresnahan made his money then cut your healthcare. https://heartlandsignal.com/2026/10/21/rob-bresnahan-sold-health-care-stocks-before-medicaid-vote/

This is capitalist propaganda. Billionaires don't care about employees; they care about profits. Which is why they are far more likely to use cash on hand to buy back stock than hire more employees or give the employees already there a raise. This is just "Trickle Down Economics" in corporate drag.

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Kind of stunned how many people in my mentions still believe that the point of Section 230 is that if you edit, you lose its protections. That's literally the exact opposite of why the law was written and the exact opposite of what courts have said. But tons of people here believe it. Weird.

It’s that time of year for my 2010 joke.

I think in reality what socialism actually means in the American context is that trillionaire Elon Musk got $38 billion from the U.S. government and you got rejected trying to buy a $1 soda on SNAP benefits.

Turns out we had a mass shooting in Georgia yesterday where 2 were killed and 35 injured. I only found out about it due to the BBC's coverage. Funny how none of the US outlets have reported on it, isn't it? www.bbc.com/news/article...

This week on Bill Maher: NEWS FLASH: OLD MEN ARE SCARED OF SHIT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND! 🙄🤦‍♂️

Because AI's circular financing bubble is the only thing keeping US GDP afloat. Reign them in, the bubble pops, and the entire economy goes into a full-blown recession.

I updated all of the apps on my phone *less than 2 days ago* and there are already 64 new updates waiting for me in the Play Store!? I call total bullshit. Ain't no way in hell y'all are putting out meaningful updates this quickly all at once. This is *exactly* why I keep auto updates turned OFF! 🖕

Hey @teamtalaricohq.bsky.social! How do I get a couple of those yard signs I keep seeing? I do NOT want to be signed up for any mailing lists or spam or SMS campaigns or anything like that; may my privacy and sanity be spared. I just want a couple of signs for my yard, that's it! 😉

The US Government is soooooooo prone to "irreparable harm," but only when the Repubes are in control. Definitely the result of fragile old men in office. Call 'em the GOSP from now on: The Grand Old Snowflake Party

As someone who is entirely self-employed, I pay an effective tax rate north of 28%! If anyone needs a break, it's the millions of self-employed who are the very essence of the "American Dream." Alas, we don't have dark money and Super PACs to rep us...mostly because we're paying double the taxes.

US Government says it found a whopping *1600* cases of voter fraud...in a country of 211M active voters. For perspective, that's 0.0008% of the total nationwide voter base; it doesn't even amount to a rounding error.

Anker has started sending their promotional emails to me in German, instead of English. I've never even viewed the German Anker website. 🤷‍♂️ In the immortal words of Will Ferrell's "Alex Trebek:" Bist du Isländer oder zurückgeblieben?

🇬🇧 Bluesky's moderation (@moderation.bsky.app) has flagged this bot as spam. Apparently, this happened because it sends too many replies to different users (in other words, it is doing its job), despite the profile properly indicating that it is an automated account.

Report Reveals Jesus Christ May Have Benefited From Father’s Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role As Lord And Savior https://theonion.com/report-reveals-jesus-christ-may-have-benefited-from-fat-1833717521/

Trans Teen Hatches Nefarious Plot To Undergo Years Of Medical Treatments And Counseling To Win At Swimming https://theonion.com/trans-teen-hatches-nefarious-plot-to-undergo-years-of-m-1850433563/

It pains me so when The Onion's parody intersects reality. How the fuck did I end up on *this* timeline?

The People of Texas deserve to see this report NOW. The only reason to delay the release is to DEFRAUD your voters by failing to provide vital statistics about existing policies ahead of an election. Without the report, I have to assume that 10X as many mothers have died. Prove me wrong!

I slept "wrong" and fucked up my shoulder and neck, which presents an annoying thought: How utterly fucked are we as a species when we can't even get the basics of sleep "right!?" We have an entire industry based on improving something that should be as natural to us as breathing air. We're doomed.

🔥 we see you polymarket🤔

He’s catatonic

I get that math is hard but when someone with $Hundreds-of-Billions tells you they paid $Millions of dollars in taxes, IT'S A BRAG! It's often 1% or less of their income. How much of your income is taken in Federal Tax? I paid 26%. A flat tax would eliminate the gymnastics used to evade them.

The way Repube leadership talks, Texas Values™ include: 1. Fuck over thy neighbor 2. Scam and defraud like thy God intended 3. Lick the boots of thy Corporate and Religious Overlords like good little Sub Cucks Tis another prosperity gospel: "Give us all your money and you'll be rich!"

Post it far and wide. #FuckTheFCC youtu.be/WLDE9LrGpNk

The level of desperation in President InEpstein's $5k bullshit bribe tells me everything I need to know about how the Midterms are gonna go. Dems will have landside victories and Repubes will scream fraud like their political lives depend on it.

In other news...OpenAI spent $7M in compute to solve a math problem with a $1M prize. In case anyone isn't clear on how AI economics work, this was labeled a "win" for the company. 😆🫪💀 www.quantamagazine.org/ai-has-solve...

The Trump Mob Family and, by extension of willful enablement, the Republican Party are Terrorist Organizations as defined under US Law.

While first responders and families were scrambling on 9/11, Donald Trump was on TV bragging that his building was the tallest in Manhattan. "They built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second tallest, and now it's the tallest."

Oh, honey . . . You place your children in the custody of priests, pastors, and youth pastors, a demographic proven most likely to molest children. You are *not* protecting and nurturing your children—you're endangering them. And shamelessly lying about Islam and feminism isn't going to change that.

A decade ago, Florida stripped a teacher of her license for sexually abusing a 16-year-old. Last year, she opened a private school there with ease. As private schools fueled by taxpayer dollars proliferate, states are choosing not to closely regulate who runs them or what they teach:

They're just biding their time while Mitch is chilling in a freezer somewhere. If they're in session too long, people start asking questions again. 😉

Current running theory on the Federal Reserve's position: They were not-at-all amused that Frump tried to fuck with their deathgrip on the economy. Soooo...they are gonna fuck the rest of us to stick it to the Repubes in the midterms and flip control back to the Dems.

There is little evidence that MAGA influencer Nick Adams’ nonprofit has provided the civics education it claims. A review of the organization's finances show that it has paid Adams and his mother more than half its recent annual revenue. (Published July)