thwarted 🍌

It's pretty crazy how we drown our used food before sending it downtown.

The president is focused on the ball room.

Using genAI, the video could have been him fighting a REAL Twinkie, or Twinkie the Kid. Could have had the AI generate a real fantasy fight, and he chose a man in a Twinkie suit. You can fight a man in a Twinkie suit in real life. What a lame fantasy.

A fractal of ambiguity.

According to the limited scope of my metrics, today is the most monumental Monday and the most epic day of all time.

𝟿𝚡 𝚢= ——— 𝟸𝟻

Not too many people know this, but Ray Parker Jr. is actually deathly afraid of all manner of ghosts. It was his therapist who suggested he record the Ghostbusters theme song as a form of exposure therapy because he kept insisting he "wanted a new drug".

A The The cover band at the renfair called Ye Ye.

Power Drinkers and the Trustees of Modern Chemistry

Elizabeth Holmes, Glamour Magazine's Women of the Year 2015?

Generating a private key for my TLS certificate signing request.

You can eat beaver during Lent?!

Imagine voting to keep things worse.

[slicing into a restaurant] omg, it's (cheese)cake (factory)!

The only three colors that are also sauces are red, white, and brown.

Flavor: It's What's Delicious!

Pure nightmare fuel is colorless and odorless, but has a slight sweet flavor. It's impossible to get in a waking state because it can only be refined into its purest, unadulterated form in dreams. Trying to extract nightmare fuel from dreams taints it. The impurities are what makes it worse.

Secret, Original, Classic, and Chef can also be found as a Formula, while there is no stable food-grade formulation of Regular with a usable half-life. House (or Home in some jurisdictions), along with Classic and Original, can be available as a flavor, a preparation, or a style.

Goin' down on flavortown ( if you know what I mean 😉 )

Planning a heist of Ripley's Believe It or Not! to acquire a life-sized wax figure of Bill Murray for my home office.

Nodding at the hospital bouncer as I walk in and go directly to the hospital hostess stand and ask them to send the nurse with the sleeve tats to the hospital champagne room.

I only get a handful of political fundraising text messages a week, but the number of how-much-money-could-you-use texts are dozens a day.

It's an Investigate Possible Postal Fraud and then play Quake 30th Anniversary Missions kind of day.

Snap, Crackle, and Pop predicting AI bro stolen valor plagiarism.

Are pardons valid if they were made by a Pretender who acquired the position through election fraud?

Imagine stealing his thunder by going back in time and killing Hitler before he had a chance to kill himself.

When you're logging on to Lotus Notes in the 90s.

The original Roko's basilisk.

"He's gonna milk him like a holstein."

No, I didn't, but other kids in my class did. Oregon Trail was what you played on the five Apple II the school had in the library because you didn't have a Commodore 64 at home where you could play real games.

In Ray Bradbury's "A Sound of Thunder", Time Safari Inc. says you can kill Hitler, but it has to be on April 30, 1945, right before he kills himself to avoid the butterfly effect.

I know a guy who hired a taskrabbit to roll and jump around on his new mattress to soften it up because it was too stiff.

Call Sesame Street! I found a tiny rogue "L".

Why the fuck does 1password need so many updates?

I was watching some show last night and someone said "you don't want coke, you want crystal" and it took me a while to realize this was a conversation about drugs not about 90s soda.

If you were well-read, you might think that "Balthazar's Box" was a Christmas biblical reference. But what you don't realize is that back in the 90s, I worked with a guy named Balthazar who was prone to break his computer on a regular basis. His box was the bane of my department.

Honey, it's the 90s, remember? Microchips, microwaves, faxes, air phones, old ladies bringing tasers on airplanes.

Frothy!

"Pretend I'm on the ballot" can become "I'm on the pretend ballot"

Kuato built the machine and designed the console to work with his own hand.

The oxygen levels are bottoming out in Sector G.

Trying to right what once went wrong and hoping the next download…will the download home.

Hold on! These are copied discs!

Everyone knows they look really stupid releasing videos that are left-right reversed and the fucking text they are showing you is backwards, right? wtf is wrong with you?

The best version of "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour is the live version on the "Say Anything" soundtrack. Also, track 10, Freiheit's "Keeping the Dream Alive", doesn't get enough recognition.

I'm pretty sure you can install someone in a nursing home and start ignoring them and everything they say once they fail a dementia test a few times. It sucks, but people have been doing it for decades. It's not like ignoring those of advanced age is a foreign concept.

I stopped inviting the Pillsbury dough boy to game night because he always flaked.