Tim Lovell

LMAO 🤣😅

People start trippin don’t they?

CHICAGO! We are adding another show on October 8! Presale starts tomorrow at 10am CT with code CHELSEA. 🎟️ Get tickets to the High and Mighty Tour at chelseahandler.com/tour-high-and-mighty

April 1st - April Fools Day. The one day a year people actually watch any news critically for fakes, pranks and lies. We need every day to be April 1st for a while.

Children at an Edinburgh hospital painted pebbles for the penguins at Edinburgh Zoo and will be able to watch them choose and present them to their mates via livestream. #SundayMorning

The New York Times reports that the Department of Homeland Security has sent Google, Meta, and other media corporations subpoenas for the names on accounts that criticize ICE enforcement. The department wants to identify Americans who oppose what it’s doing. I’ll save them time.

Next question

An awesome reminder from the 2024 campaign cycle.

Wouldn’t it b Great if this was played on the big screen at the Super Bowl today! A girl can dream! #epsteinfiles #epsteinsurvivors

Last week, Trump: - went on a racist tirade against immigrants - lashed out on another woman journalist - encouraged Republicans to ‘take over’ voting Read more about the dangerous actions Trump and his administration have taken to destroy US democracy: zeteo.com/p/this-week-...

Lawrence O'Donnell is spot-on. Every single person who voted for the pedophile führer was well aware that Trump was a racist POS. Trump LIED for nearly 6 years about Obama being a Muslim born in Kenya. The FACT is, y'all voted for Trump bcz, like you, the shitstain is a racist.

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again. #Pinks #ProudBlue

Petty is my first and last stop of the day

A lesson in Pettyology

This is the before and after of a 24 year old tattoo. Artist was Larry Farley of Collective Studios Ink in Rochester, MI. I’m not on Instagram or TikTok, so I cannot directly tag him here.

Every time I think to myself “Trump has finally gone too far, this last thing he has done is indefensible” - I am wrong. So very wrong. Basket of Deplorables was way to kind a description for this collection of nazi assholes.

Who will the NRA throw money at now that every MAGA humping politician is out there telling people they should not be allowed to carry guns when they want to?

Today's front page on @lemonde.fr

To anyone who ever makes a video for social media. I don’t care how important or interesting your message is, if you are eating or drinking during the video I am swiping away. Out of all the minutes and hours available in a day, try and take lunch before or after recording please.

I am not now, nor most likely ever, to trust any MAGA claiming themselves part of the “Purple Revolution”.

Nothing better than having people who have been drinking all day waiting for nighttime to light highly explosive devices, often within a few hundred feet of my house, who will continue to do so well past midnight.

With all due respect to anyone who wants to put themselves on camera for social media - please stop eating while you are talking. The video can wait for you to finish your snack. Nothing makes me move on quicker than listening to you chew and talk at the same time, regardless if the content.

Sage advice.

New addition to our family. Meet “Lexi” - full name Alexandria.

I think people should also come with an “unsubscribe” button like emails do.

Does anyone know where I should go for the lower priced Trump Gas or Eggs? He did promise to reduce prices in all of that day 1. Asking for a country.

From what I hear, they managed to keep it to just two nazi salutes during the inauguration yesterday, so that’s a win right? Asking for a country.

Given the impending events of Monday, where a convicted felon will be sworn in as president of the United States can we, on that same day, nominate Luigi Mangioni as a third party candidate for 2028? Asking for a country.

Statistically - there is approximately one murder per day in NYC. Brian Thompson, billionaire CEO of United Health Care, was fatally shot one week ago today. Statistically, 6 more people have been murdered since then. I must have missed the police dropping everything to solve those murders.

Why? I park in the doctors office parking lot waiting for my daughter to get done. I park well away from everyone else, 4-5 empty spaces on all sides. Tell me why this dude just pulled up and parked DIRECTLY next to me? There is a men’s urinal reference here, but I am still baffled.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Decent for Michigan. From a few months ago.

Bernie the Corgi