tipHAGgard

dentist sweeping up all the floor teeth at the end of the day

good job lula

dave’s insanity sauce, left untreated, tragically resulted in his killer bread

The mcu theories subreddit are having a hard time dealing with a rumor that Doomsday is not funny at all and they kill all of the superheroes. Now I want to see it more

“marketing? don’t worry about it. I got that covered”

Mr El Sayed do you denounce the Dark Brotherhood from Skyrim. And if so, did you still accept quests from them

blatant hateful lie aside, does he think kids go to school for several days at a time

“viewers like you make this program possible” lemme stop you right there, PBS station. there are no viewers like me

had a dream last night where I was doing some sort of heist with like 20 other people. someone had a pet hippo the size of a large hog. it ripped a fart that lasted at least 10 seconds. it was awesome. heist was okay I guess

“viewers like you make this program possible” lemme stop you right there, PBS station. there are no viewers like me

U.S. president Barack Obama pretending to be webbed up by a boy dressed in a Spider-Man costume inside the White House

HAN SOLO: Hell, I never would have flown a spaceship if it wasn't for the daring exploits of Ben Quadinaros, famed podracer... He inspired all of us kids back on Corellia. LEIA (NODDING): Yes, I also know and love Ben Quadinaros. The boy, Han... let's name the boy after him

Once you earn a white boy’s trust you may feed him popcorn shrimp right out of your hand

had a dream last night where I was doing some sort of heist with like 20 other people. someone had a pet hippo the size of a large hog. it ripped a fart that lasted at least 10 seconds. it was awesome. heist was okay I guess

Being a Pictish warrior was lowkey woaded

good job, somebody in durham

My satirical woodcut of your station in life has taken the parish by storm

we are long past due for a critical reevaluation of pluto nash

@bransonreese.bsky.social trying to be funny in the family group chat, I accidentally sent a noel text

Whatever happened to this guy? He seems to have stopped debating. Did he lose one really bad and lose his nerve?

and? that’s good, to me

desert assault, screenshot, arcade (1991) www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4fw...

smoking on that shit that made gary jealous

current state of the fix social media playbook: *nationalize facebook and hold it to rigorous privacy and content moderation standards *break up google and make youtube robustly fund a streaming PBS *turn off x the everything app *keep linkedin the same. that'd be a good bit *begin The Tribunals

y’know my wife, she’s always callin me a joker. different from yours, though. that fella’s somethin else

“pappardelle? FUCK that SHIT! BEEF! LA! SAGNE!”

Permit data artistry with your stunning info? 😃 🎀✨🎀✨🎀✨🎀✨🎀✨🎀 ✨ Surrender my personals ✨ 🎀✨🎀✨🎀✨🎀✨🎀✨🎀 🤮ᵃˢˢᵉʳᵗ ᵐʸ ᶜʳᵘᵈᵉ ᵖʳᵉᶠᵉʳᵉⁿᶜᵉ🤮

always harbored a suspicion that white fucking lotus is better than deadwood, twin peaks: the return, halt and catch fire, bourdain’s entire career, nathan fielder’s entire career, planet earth, true detective s1, I think you should leave, and tim & eric, but good to know that fleabag beats ‘em all!

MAMDANI: And I just think that there are barriers, barricades, to helping Americans that we can break down TRUMP: Uh huh MAMDANI: And breaking down barriers? Reminds me of a certain Broadway show *smiling widely* where they worked together to break a barricade? TRUMP: *sitting bolt upright* Phantom

my guess is eggers goes for original pronunciation of early modern, but olde english would be very very funny

I favor a flavorful broth. and I am NOT alone

“Architects of mythology.”

when someone asks do I like werthers original

lol his backing band too? they’re shearin’ off ed at an astounding rate! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear?w...

Would I personally fuck Phil Collins? I would. Has no bearing on my character whatsoever. Just is what it is. Would fuck on Phil Collins until you could smell it in the air of the night. Now what?

The person with the music written on their arse from Hieronymus Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights has pulled out of Ed Sheeran's tour

lol his backing band too? they’re shearin’ off ed at an astounding rate! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shear?w...

when someone asks do I like werthers original