TK Accidental

I feel like my runs are getting more hellish as I get older but I feel pretty after so it’s okay.

This mashup goes so fuckin hard when you’re PRing the leg press and the leaves are falling off the trees and there’s pumpkins all about and shit like that.

Been working on a recipe I call The Meal: nutrient dense, great macros, cheap to produce and highly adaptable. As of last night, I think I nailed it. The only problem is now I really want to experiment with other versions but I still have to get through the 1st batch which is like 10 servings.

Watching my gym crush - who is absolutely enormous - lift a not-particularly heavy amount of weight with some of the worst form I have ever seen is a rather tragically sobering moment.

My Planet Fitness just went back to 24/7 it’s so over for you hoes

Brb k’ing my s.

I feel like I’m both too old and too queer to like the new Brakence album as much as I do. But here we are

Chat, am I crazy for thinking I could wear the fuck outta these?

You should go listen to it. It’s really good. I wish they’d make another ARMS game.

It’s a good day, but it’d be even better if you were stroking my fur 😈🐺

My username on Snapchat is JewFaggot (I genuinely thought Snapchat was stupid and wouldn’t take off). At a certain point they were like “we need your real name though” so I put my real name as Jewford Faggotron. So now every once in a while I get an email with the subject line: Jewford! Come back!

Daddy ran out of contacts so gave the local Planet Fitness their big boi nerd fantasy and let me tell you the meemaws on the elliptical were living.

Currently out walking the dogs while there is an open house at the inn. So desperately hoping we get an offer

No one is ever going to seriously use this character once Jed McKay is done. It’s an annoying thing happening constantly at Marvel where creators make what are essentially vanity characters no one else cares about, then they just get added to Never-Was pile. It’s also fine cuz this character sucks

This is a historical fact that not enough people know or understand.

Good morning I am wearing LAYER because it is 33 fucking degrees in Portland, Maine

Is anyone else reading Fires of December right now? I neeeeed to talk to someone about it

If I ever I say that a particular song by an act is my favorite and you think “that’s weird. That’s no one’s favorite song by them.” Please know that it’s not that I have immaculate taste or a hot take on why it’s their best. It’s cuz I did a bunch of good drugs at some point and that song came on.

The 2nd episode of VisionQuest was badly written. Mostly cuz Terry Matalas seems to be trying to do Agatha All Along… FOR BOYS! But doesn’t actually want to do any labor in delving into the complexity of the situation, and also maybe doesn’t understand said situation and also is a not-great writer

Yeah… I sure am people

I Think He’s Got a Girl is a great track. The only problem is it lyrically has no application to Slayyyter’s core audience of poppered up faggots.

6 days before lockdown started vs 6 days ago.

Terry Matalas is not a bad writer. Terry Matalas is not a good writer.

Yes. THIS is what Ultron would think he looks like as a human.

I actually think it’s weird they fired her cuz it genuinely does not matter who does any job in this administration or how good they are at it or if they lie about their qualifications or say they had a job they never had. None of it matters. The next person will not be better or worse at the job

Everything i know about this Kelly Clarkson situation is 100% against my will but it is maybe the funniest thing since Demi Lovato didn’t get the frozen yogurt they wanted and then they had a hard time the rest of the weekend.

He did coach proud today

It’s very upsetting to me that every woman who appears in the MCU has to keep it tight. Like even Patti Lupone showed up looking hot as shit. Meanwhile, James Spader - WHO USED TO BE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE AND STILL COULD BE IF HE GAVE ONE SINGLE FUCK - just rolls out of bed and is like ‘I’m Ultron!’

Bluesky, stop opening into ‘Popular with Friends.’ I do not care what these faggots like

I’ma show him spermbending.

Is it funnier if the genderbent killer from Halloween is Michelle Myers or Michaela Myers?

This is the reason we can’t have any AI. even if you’re powering it with solar and training it only on your own material, you’re still contributing to this culture and conversation where people are very comfortable talking about slavery like it’s not one of the worst things humanity is capable of.

My therapist rarely lets anything slip in terms of reactions. But after years I’ve kind of picked up on his slight tells and I could very much see he did not like one guy in my life and that he’s quite pleased that we’re no longer speaking, which has really helped me feel like it’s the right thing.

No I’m sorry this is too much. If you, as the buyer, hire an inspector who is not capable of detecting ghosts in the home that’s on you and those ghosts are now your tenants. Also your boiler is broken. I don’t make the rules.

There are few things on this earth more melodramatic than a group of firefighters getting groceries at the supermarket.

Feelin big and dumb today

It’s always “I wanna s*ck your d*ck” and never “I wanna h*t you with my c*r.” This place is a prison

Did I peak in 2004? Yeah I sure did.

Terrible take and when this technology inevitably collapses, the creatives that refused to cave will remember that you did and you will not have a seat at the table

Sorry I didn’t post for a few days. I was in the woods with queer people doing queer things and it was much better than the real world so now I’m sad

Chicken chashu ramen for our anniversary dinner tonight

Haunted Heart by Christina Aguilera is the cuntiest Halloween track.

19 years ago - after telling them I thought we should stay friends - I took my husband on our first date to see Grant Morrison, Mike Mignola, Jonathan Lethem and Tim Kring at the New Yorker festival. Only problem? I never told them it was a date. Once I planted one on them they figured it out.

Is it weird to finish a gallon of milk every 2-3 days? Asking for a friend if the answer is yes.

Just had our first open house with the inn back on the market. Am I losing my shit? Maybe a little.

Goddamn I am much older than the rest of you my9games.net/en

I love when my bloomfies post a lil pic together and I’m just like “oh they fucked like crazy after this.”

wow Ed Sheeran is so fucking pathetic

I really wish I could hire the casts of Real World San Francisco and Boston to team up like the Avengers and take down Rachel and Sean.

Ninja Turtles-themed drag king named Cowabunga Dude. That’s free. You can have that.