The Jaded Foxx

"Something About Us" by Daft Punk is where my feelings are right now. May not be the right time or one, but that something about us... *exhales*

Sunday was alright. Like, I came home, left on my black bra and body shaper that look like bike shorts and put on my white button down. Wrapped my head (because I don't have hair) and just cooked dinner. I felt rather sexy. Just because.

7:51 Saturday. 56 degrees. I ain't got no ngga But there's one I L-I-K-E I wish he was here Up under my sheets Touching what I been touching Because I'm such a freak ...the hell am I on tonight...🤭🤣🤭

*inhales* The trial is drawing near. My siblings are at each other's throats. My dad lost a good friend and it affected him. He got really quiet. My mother in this new place I don't like. I like this man, but... I'm feeling much & I'm overwhelmed. God help. *exhales*

It's not true. It's a mistake. He don't like me. I'm not in love. I'm right back where I always seem to be. Feeling lonely, and like Im not enough when I am. I settle for treatment that's beneath what I should get. I want my department to move to the new building so I can start over.

I need to get back off that other place. Actually, I need to just start cutting things that don't do right by me off and leave them off. My heart is really broken right now, but it's been that way. For a really long time. I should be over it, but I'm not.

I'm crying, feeling miserable and hot. My son was going to hug me and I said "Don't touch me, it's hot." In this moment I am not okay.

Oh. I forgot she made coffee, too. Im trying to turn off everything that generates heat. She will have the coffee pot on all damn day. I turned it off. "Hey. You turned off my coffee." WHO TF DRINKS HOT COFFEE ON A HOT ASS DAY AFTER 5 PEE EMM???

So... The A/C is messed up. I'm over here hot in this house. It's hot outside. Why would I cook? Friend is hot but considers grits and bacon light. If you gotta cook it, it ain't light. I'm hot. I'm exhausted. I'm cleaning so they can come. And she cooking. 😒😒

Well damn.

If I'm not in love, I think he's in serious like. Outside that one time with the white pants, this was the best thus far. And he did something, a couple of things different. Put some things on my mind. Got me a little sick wit.

Yooo... So my 10a appointment this time started when I got there today. I was shocked.

Headed in for deep clean, round 2. I wonder how long it will take for them to get my to the back today? The usual hygienist won't be seeing me today so I'm curious. These mouth shots hurt though.

It's incredibly humid and HOT right now. Last think I need to eat is ass. Gimme some salad and some grilled chicken with green goddess dressing and black olives. Dammit. I'm hongry.

Does it mean I'm in live if Im researching "How to Eat Ass?" 🤣🤣🤣

I never explained this. On occasion, I am honorary staff when they need help. Sometimes of my own accord, sometimes when they need me.

Loose lips get you punched in the mouf...

Lord, I will lift my eyes to the hills, knowing my help is coming from you. Your peace you give me in times of storm. You are the source of my strength. You are the strength of my life. I lift my hands in total praise to you.

...and I will NEVER be pressed because Facebook had an outage...

Not deadeye got in a muscle shirt today... 🤣🤣

I wonder if #Amazon broke ties with the #USPS because of missing packages?? Well, they kissed and made up and back to regularly scheduled thievery. All I did was bought some damn vitamins and these mfr done opened my package, folded the envelope, and put the empty package in my mailbox. Bitches.

...except Ray Jr., because ewww. 🤣🤣🤣

So, Im kind of going through it emotionally right now. And at this point, anybody can get it. 😐 Dead ass.

Finally got my drink, then was asked to give someone else their drink. I will explain the dynamic in a bit.

I've been here since a little before 3pm.

4:51 and my first drink is finally being made. It's bad that I'm hongry, too...

One hour and 17 miss, my order has been taken. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Someone else from my former place of employment passed away while in the field. I'm at a loss for words...

I like music. I like lyrics. I still don't understand why people don't like Drake. 🤷🏾‍♀️

How dare a person committing a crime shoot at a person that the crime is being committed against? That is a huge pair ya got there. Like, for real??

Imagine being on the phone calling an ambulance for yourself and someone gets shot while you're on the phone with them. Now it's eff you falling off the porch and bumping your head.

...then I have to contend with this dude on the bus who is talking nonstop because his inside voices need to be heard. And every nonsensical phrase starts or ends with "...knowutImsayin?" or "stufflikedat". I just want a quiet commute. It's always a couple times a week people do too much.

Please repost...

You know, I'm the type who likes to see people happy. I know it is somewhat essential to know you're not alone in a particular struggle. However, I don't want to or like to "bond" with strangers who have the same trauma because outside of that, whatever we got? And I know I'm a quirky person.

Unfortunately, being called a "white bitch" is not considered a racial slur. If you're white, that's fact & truth. If you're a bitch, it's subjective, but could be fact & true. Let's all stop calling each other unnecessary and hurtful names, yeah?

This is the first time I've barbecued living in this apartment. It feels good, actually. I get to have meats that I want in the flavors I want. Everyone can be so basic and routine with stuff. I love how different I am. I embrace my difference. I love who I was fearfully & wonderfully created 2 be.

I tend to get...stuck...in situations like this. Me and this man been messing around on and off. The anniversary of our first smash is on Sunday. Lol What the duck is really going on?

In all seriousness, I think my mom saw the "light at the end of the tunnel" and she defied it by telling me to turn the lights out. She shut it down and was like, Naw pimp. I ain't going nowhere.

I've been awake for 24hrs.

It's one of those moments, where, when I get home, I need my man to love on me with hugs and snacks and a blanket. Let me curl up with my head on his lap and cry or sleep or both. But I don't have one of them so...

God, Abba, make a way. For her health, for my immediate needs.

I've not met him personally, but we work for the same company. He actually knows my son from complying circuits. Godspeed, Nolans.🙏🏾🙏🏾