glow moss

Dak Prescott is bald

Movies that would've been better with Denzel: Michael Clayton Inception Avatar Whiplash Oppenheimer

Going to start describing more things as "misunderstood"

I'm merely an individual who reveres thesauri

Meesa liken jacken off to videos on xhamstah

Throwing m&ms at Billy Crudups head at full speed

Goodreads but for the plots of movies on Wikipedia

When you and your mate do fuck all

Lmao if you've ever given James Dolan your money

Boys aren't named Hume Cronyn anymore.

Met with a reincarnation specialist and he told me I should take one of you guys with me.

OK so you clearly didn't watch the video

Yeah for sure but can you CC Sebulba? sebulba@wattos-junkyard.m.espa

Puffing on that Hans Zischler

more like The Crapping of Ass 49

People who say cilantro tastes like soap are lying for attention and I'm tired of pretending they aren't.

How you're supposed to react when your girlfriend pays for something

I had a dream last night that I discovered the mosaic floor of a Roman villa in my suburban New Jersey backyard

Normalize liking my replies

Let's align

Would you rather have your penis chopped off at the base or in the middle

Did you even watch the video?

Papoose Springsteen

Oranges are cool because you peel one and then you smell like an orange all day

When some guy gushes because the computer told him it’s alive and it knows it…parlor tricks. Obvious magic 8 ball stuff. When the bots are lying to each other and insulting each other and billing each other for work they didn’t do…that’s the divine spark…that’s life being born.

The French language is so beautiful

Haven't sprinkled glitter onto some glue on construction paper in maybe 20 years or so.

Rising costs are epic Low prices are cringe Keep that in mind and you will go far

Bill Simmons is still so fucking mad about the Sixers lmao

Oldsmobile Gundam Estate Limited

The infamous “cousin walk”

I love it when my podcast is brought to me by some bullshit

When the fart kills you

*refuses to eat the snack*

Identifying Aaron Sorkin's scalp and glasses and giving the bounty hunter a twenty dollar bill

Aaron Sorkin died "very badly" late last night, Variety reports

Didn't even realize it was possible to have fun playing fantasy

Solid Gold Trinket

Lifehack: invent an malady or injury for yourself so that people treat you in a special way

Coming at you live from Dublin