Paulley Ticks

Ladies and gentlemen, I present; Marco Bootio. #NickiMinaj

Glorious

BREAKING: After bringing Nicki Minaj on stage last night at his Michigan rally, he invites her to the White House to meet with Catholic Bishops to prayer for President Trump - and ironically all Hell breaks loose. #DonaldTrump #NickiMinaj

When Donald Trump brought Nicki Minaj on stage at his Michigan rally last night, things went horribly, horribly wrong. #DonaldTrump #NickiMinaj

BREAKING: President Trump appoints old attention-starved ho as the new White House Press Secretary. #NickiMinaj

Let's be honest, this is the only way we're ever going to get out the stench of dirty diapers from the Oval Office, the tiny mushroom jizz stains from the Lincoln bedroom, and the hideous Cheesecake Factory decor from the White House. #DonaldTrump #CheesecakeFactory

Ohio's Dem candidate for Governor, Amy Acton's estranged mother, Donna Arthur, has STAR written all over her haggard old Trump-doppelganger lookin' face. #AmyActon #DonaldTrump

BREAKING: GOP Senator Jon Husted surprises Donald Trump at his rally in Georgia this evening - and makes the President the happiest man on the face of the earth. #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

BREAKING: Big-Mac HAZMAT team deployed: crisis averted. #DonaldTrump #NatalieHarp

"My tiny mushroom don't want none unless you've got buns, SON!" - Donald "Sir Licks-a-Lot" Rump #DonaldTrump #TedHusted

When Donald Trump thinks about Ted Husted's big round meaty ass.

News outlets are reporting that President Trump requested going to Fort Myers, Florida for his rally tonight, to specifically coincide with "Gay Day" at Walt Disney World in Orlando. #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

BREAKING: the most influential evangelists in the nation are called to the White House to perform an exorcism on President Trump to attempt to rid him of the "evil homosexual spirits that have taken control of him" and his "public lusting of other men's shapely buttocks". #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

This likes it could be feel-good movie of the upcoming holiday movie season. #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

This is the "October Surprise" that everyone's talking about. #DonaldTrump #LindseyGraham

After publicly coming out as a homosexual at his last three rallies, President Trump incorporates new mandatory White House dress code for all male staffers. #DonaldTrump #JohnHusted

I figured out what that inhuman, almost animal-like sound Trump made last night, at his rally North Carolina really was. Hint: it was one of GOP Sen Ted Husted's bodily fluids. #DonaldTrump #TedHusted

Marco Rubio after he realized how much Donald Trump is into man-ass. #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

Meat and Greet.

HEY!! THAT’S TAXPAYER MONEY, ASSHOLE!!

BREAKING: After publicly obsessing over how "round and muscular" GOP Senator Jon Husted's ass is, during his past three rallies, Donald Trump invites the world famous Chippendale dancers to the White House for a private meet-n-greet. #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

BREAKING: On the flight back from his rally in North Carolina, President Trump was caught by a press photographer thinking about Senator Jon Husted's ass. #DonaldTrump #JonHusted

Fixed it.

Totally fixed it. #DonaldTrump

I took the liberty of isolating Trump's latest lashing of a WH reporter, to focus in on just how psychotic this fat, wrinkled old blithering imbecile, has become. #Donaldtrump

How this doesn't happen all the time is beyond me.

And let's be honest, if there really was a God...

BREAKING: In a surprising move, Donald Trump appoints Erica Kirk as his new White House Press Secretary. #DonaldTrump #Druski

You libtards will never understand true love like this.

Fixed it. #DonaldTrump

BREAKING: Donald Trump appoints one of his dirty diapers as his new White House Press Secretary, telling reporters "I can tell you this much, the smell will last more than 5 days, alone. Just ask Natalie!" #DonaldTrump

Fixed it.

And let's be honest, only a Russian hooker would sign an executive order waiving sweeping economic sanctions and tariffs against Russia, just 2 days before they were set to start. #DonaldTrump

As Kid Rock walked on the stage, he jiggled Trump's chins for luck at the President's rally in Kentucky today. #DonaldTrump

Five days in the life of Katie Zacharia.

BREAKING: Donald Trump promotes his communications director, Steven Cheung to White House Press Secretary. #KatieZacharia

Laura Loomer just applied for the Press Secretary gig, and I don't see Donald Trump making Jigsaw the face of his Presidency. #KatieZacharina

Well, at least he's a lawyer. #KatieZacharia

Exclusive first interview with ex-WH press secretary Katie Zacharia, after being reassigned to a new role by President Trump this morning. #KateZacharia

BREAKING: First Lady Melania Trump is missing. #WhatsInTheBox

Fixed it. #DonaldTrump #ProtesterPunched

Waaaaaaaaaaaait for it ;) #DonaldTrump

What species is Stephen Miller? (wrong answers only)

BREAKING: President Trump reassigns Katie Zacharia to a position she's more qualified for: Air Force One's head flight attendant. #Donaldtrump

I don't think this went quite the way he had planned... #DonaldTrump

Live shot of Donald Trump checkin' out a guy's ass - just like he said he likes to do, at yesterdays rally in Ohio. #DonaldTrump

WORLD: OMG, have you seen Susan Dell's face? It's hideous! Barbera Thornhill: Hold my eye sockets...