Tom Flannery

Kimberly Guilfoyle being deemed too corrupt for the Trump orbit is a bit like Luca Brasi being deemed too violent for the Corleone family….

She lasted less than half a Scaramucci. Impressive.

I’m sorry but this girl makes Karoline Leavitt sound like Winston Churchill.

You’d think a president who could not read would insist on hiring a press secretary who could. Just to balance things out. You would be wrong.

I feel like the founding fathers thought of everything except “what if everybody is a c—t?”

The lack of reaction to the President claiming he has an IQ of 1775 is precisely why we have a President who feels comfortable saying he has an IQ of 1775.

Yesterday's hearings, in which they confused the Atlanta Hawks with the Iowa Hawkeyes, was such a clusterfuck of incompetence that the whole "Pig fuckers are now allowed in the FBI" story line has been forgotten. What a time to be alive.

“Dealing with them lately feels like watching the final scene of “Long Day’s Journey Into Night” when the glassy-eyed morphine addicted mother is dragging her old wedding gown across the stage, lost in yet another hallucination….”

She’s the closest this nation ever got to having a Queen. #DollyParton

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Karoline Leavitt resigned “to spend more time with her family” right after learning that Trump left her on the decoy plane to die.

I just saw a Reuters headline asking “What makes earthquakes so deadly?” and I feel like this is the journalistic equivalent of putting directions on shampoo bottles.

I will never understand how to get engagement on this platform.

Honestly at this point anybody running for office should be strip searched and checked for Nazi tattoos because it would save all kinds of time.

We’re at the point where this Supreme Court simply upholding the constitution has become surprising.

"Rich people march on Washington every day" -- I.F. Stone

Who did this?

The birthday of Jefferson Davis being observed as a state holiday is like the birthday of Timothy McVeigh being observed as a state holiday. This nation is completely fucked up.

Who did this…

Way too many of you overestimated Kentucky

A recent CNN headline stated… “Penile implant specialist and election denier with history of far-right comments led hantavirus presser” …and I’m not sure I want to live here anymore.

This is what happens when you elect people who only look at the pictures.

Everybody who says “do your own research” believes in Bigfoot.

I am trying to come up with a synecdochic metaphor that explains how this nation has gotten to this point and the closest I can come is that my dog's pee pads come with instructions.

You can watch the NHL playoffs and almost be convinced that everything in North America is just fine. Not much else can do that. It’s pretty special.

The staged "Doordash Grandma" bit at the White House was still extraordinary in that its message---that a grandmother has to deliver meals in her own car to pay for her husband's cancer treatments--is touted as something worthy of a Presidential photo-op, and not as a dystopian nightmare.

Maybe the Democratic Party leadership is stuck in a TSA line?

Future conversation with NYT reporters…. “Grandpa, what were you doing when the president was losing his mind?” “Well Billy, we were searching for Kamala Harris employment records from McDonald’s….”

We’re at the point now where whoever confiscates his phone would win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Everybody needs to calm down she was fired for not being horrible enough.

As if airline travel is not unpleasant enough, now I need to worry about Billy Joe Bob from high school shooting me in the head because my travel shampoo bottle is 3.5 ounces.

It really is a bad time to be sane.

Following thousands. Followed by thousands. Zero engagement on my posts. This is the weirdest social media platform I’ve ever seen.