tvjames

Are you supposed to leave a broom behind when you sell a house? Every house we've purchased has come with at least one broom. And we've never left any behind when we sold. We now own so many brooms.

@thedailyshow.com have you considered inviting Foreign Correspondent Kimmy Jimmel on your show?

Sorry, @duolingoverde.bsky.social, but if the prompt is "I like _____. I go to the gym often." then 零食 is absolutely the correct and logical answer.

BWMs are fast, Lamborghinis are faster but Elon make Teslas the fascist.

Ok, this is dumb... my retired mother-in-law needs dental surgery. But if she saves up enough money for per portion of the cost, then she has too much money in the bank and loses her government-sponsored dental insurance.

What if Darryl from the warehouse was just Doug Judy in hiding? Otherwise, I want a show starring Craig Robinson where you think it's a The Office spin-off but over time realize it's a Brooklyn 99 prequel. An evolution story unlike any we've seen since Walter White.

I was looking at the diaper box. It says "100% leak proof" but above that in tiny letters it says "up to" Isn't that pretty much any diaper?

“People like you and me, darling, we don’t get to ride off into the sunset. But we get to stay around and watch the stars come out. And that’s not nothing, I suppose.”

I just learned there's an Audiobook Transcript Repository just two blocks from my house and they let you borrow the transcripts for free.

Remember, when you buy from eBay, you get the same products sold in the large retail stores - but you're supporting a local small business owner.

Hey - I'm going to be a few minutes to our meeting. Pandora just started playing "Kyrie Eleison."

If you're the type who only needs to hear a song title or a read a few lyrics to have it stuck in their head for days, know that I share your pain. Everybody come and play, Throw every last care away! Let's go to the mall... Today!

Look at the person to your left. Now look at the person to your right. Now look at the person behind you. Now look at the person in front of you. If you're at an airport, one of you doesn't have a RealID. If it's on or after May 7, one of you is going to have a pretty bad day.

There's a store near us staffed by a single robot. "Never takes a break, never needs a vacation!" They claim. This Starbucks is down one espresso machine and it's absolute chaos.

I love Burbank. It's 10:30 and I want to go walk a few miles. Do I need my hoodie? Nope, it's 65 degrees out.

Fabletics is posting a “Tariff Surcharge” on their receipts. I hope other companies follow suit.

Waiting for the moment Elon asks "Why has the President surrounded himself with idiots... and me?"

"The world’s richest person, a key Trump adviser and political donor, was ultimately unsuccessful." Hopefully this will eventually double as his obituary.

An "American Snickers" bar (formulated and packaged for sale within the United States) relies on chocolate, sugar and packaging grown, processed or manufactured in other countries. It's much easier to raise prices than it is to disrupt your supply chain.

I think it's funny that American Express thought it was worth sending me an email to remind me that I am not permitted to transfer more than $2,050,000 into my savings account in any 30-day period. You'd think they'd know their customers well enough to realize such a reminder is unnecessary.

With iRobot pivoting to Lidar, that leaves Tesla standing alone with a camera-only navigation system, right?

So the USAID shutdown risks wasting half a billion dollars in food that's already purchased and it eliminates future purchases from U.S. farms. www.cbsnews.com/news/usaid-t...

we're in legit first they came for territory and a lot of people have been failing at this test they cite all the time

I need a sign for the curb in front of my house. "The Tesla isn't ours" - our neighbors keep parking them in front of our house and it's really annoying.

These are so good I can only assume my dad is on his way down from Seattle to tell me I'm not good enough to eat any more of them.

I wish I could have the day I voted for.

It's sad to think that for much of human history no one had heard Safety Dance.

We are doing a great job of strengthening relationships between (not with) other countries.

If you are rich enough to hire private firefighters, you might not want to wait until your house is on fire to try get that lined up.

***Breaking News***Breaking News*** Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza, L.A. Possible hostage situation.

Just LAX driving a new terminal to the airport after building it somewhere else. www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwTX...

@xmigration.bsky.social it is a good day.

Uninvited guests threaten to ruin a Holly's Christmas party, but they didn't count on a mysterious out-of-towner. As they battle their way through an L.A. office, the outcome isn't quite clear... will John save the day or will the grinch Hans prevail? Don't miss this action-packed Christmas classic.

I'm pretty sure it's cultural appropriation when Bloomingdales is selling Goth Wear, in some cases with the word "goth" emblazoned across the garment in large Olde Englishe Fonte.

The term "freelancer" seems much cooler once you realize it came from "free lance" - to be a free agent medieval knight for hire.

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

I really came on here to complain to a company only to find out they're not here. Perhaps the low commercial presence means it will be nice on here for a little while? I hated deleting 15 years of stuff on that other platform, but you don't keep living in a house after the owner has burnt it down.