Xhxxax

Bought some expensive coffee beans to see how they compare to the big bags from Lidl these days, predictably total crap. No matter how much I overextract them through the moka pot I can't get the necessary burnt/bitter flavour

Dick King Smith, now there's a children's author who has gone out of fashion. Inescapable a mere 30 years ago. Nowadays 8-year olds are handed a stack of 500 page dystopian fantasy 'IPs' and expected to just read those for the rest of their lives

Lula victory is going to unleash a wave of "social media posting will liberate the working class" fever on a scale not seen since Paul Mason was analysing the Arab Spring. As this is bluesky where subtext is banned, I now have to add "...and look how that turned out!"

Historian saying "don't make me tap the sign" and it's a sign that says "Don't buy six tins of baked beans"

"Remember to check your oil and tyre pressure every so often to keep your car running" CLASSIC LATE CAPITALISM NEOLIBERALISM WHY ISN'T THE GOVERNMENT JUST FIXING THIS FOR ME

Football trip to Hull cancelled because of the storm, on the plus side at least only one of my fence panels has blown down so far

Just made one of the best bowls of porridge of my life, and it's all thanks to the restorative power of Greenwich Mean Time

Never had the self-discipline to make music by myself or the sociability to make it with other people, and I honestly think the cultural loss to humanity because of this is incalculable

The pan-crowding police would have my guts for garters if they saw how many roast potatoes I've got in the tin today

Barber said "this weather's shit" so obviously I had to educate him on the importance of meeting the seasons where they are, not where we want them to be

The local 'artisan bakery' changing their entire weekend opening hours to 10.30-2pm on Saturday has rattled me beyond belief. Feel like they've seen this is what viral tiktok places do and are trying to cargo cult algorithmic success

Not saying my timeline gets a bit samey when your favourite show is on but

Oven chips

Genuine massive lol

Being dragged to a 'ceilidh' tonight. No offence to the Scots but they always have a distinct whiff of organised fun

Wot no popjustice twenty quid music prize, AGAIN?

Through a months long, ruthless, and at times challenging process of self-improvement, I've seen a huge change in my ability to see the cup of tea process through from start (thinking I fancy a brew) to finish (drinking a hot cup of tea). No medication, no gadgets, just mindfulness and commitment.

Still no evidence of fruit flies in the Upper Calder Valley but it's bloody ladybird central round here again. I would NOT want to be an aphid rn!

Don't overcomplicate it with 'data' the answers are: Decent pub Decent takeaway Park Station Lidl www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Love winter knitwear, hate overheated office buildings, simple as

A half-built fairground ride outside Number 10 North, bet the political correspondents desperate for a new visual metaphor can't believe their luck

Rajan Bone Man

Very different atmosphere on the train this morning. One lad, headphones on but they're very leaky, looking around like he's waiting for the cops to pounce on him at any moment. The geniuses at Number 10 North have done it again!

Invited to a prostate screening trial

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a phone on public transport is a good guy with a phone on public transport

'My cultural awakening'

Not generally a fan of getting your colleagues in trouble but I will make an exception for IT Helpdesk people. Put your can of Monster down and reset my fucking password!

This thing where both these conditions are now inextricably linked is really dishonest and tbh I find it quite offensive to people who are severely impacted by autism lol

You win a two week all expenses paid holiday to Calderdale but you're only allowed to visit one of these areas. Which segment are you choosing?

You, slop-brained clanker: AI will cure cancer Me, bluesky-addled intellectual: Pete Waterman will cure cancer

Really good video but I still don't understand how the entire online economy is underpinned by people clicking on ads, something nobody I know has ever done

Forget about 'the maddest people got at you online' I want to know which real life angry mob was most out for your blood. The hundreds of people who tried to get me thrown out of Co-op Live for standing up at a Pet Shops Boys gig for me

Time for Sally Rooney to give censorship the boot by faving good tweets again