mike

Racist Fucking Know-nothing

The unique heartbreak of learning your obscure celebrity crush, whom you thought was single, just got married.

Rest in Peace, Walter, as you shed this moral wessel

Some shows go years between seasons. Meanwhile SLOW HORSES has the next one in the can before the current one is even finished airing.

I've always found it weird that donations are only tax-deductible if you're itemizing, and aren't exempt from that requirement. It basically says that the average person shouldn't benefit from their charity; it's a privilege afforded only to a select few (usually the rich).

People like Melvin—who think the number of bots, children, and idiots that view your pointless "content" somehow gives you cultural or societal relevance—worry me

It's kinda crazy that You Can See Everything gets an XD screening but Wildwood doesn't

Of everything I'm going to regret not being able to see, I think it's the apoplectic rage of countless neckbeards over Shepherd being replaced by an Asian (Simu Liu!!) lead

What an odd way to describe spending your own money

Awww, I loved him on Picket Fences

Give it to Jack Lowden and cast Gary Oldman as M Please

I wonder if anyone has a @mcsweeneys.net "Lest we forget the horrors" type catalogue of all of Meta's many, many sins

EA keeping up its streak of being a shitty company, it seems.

Democratic candidates need to make this a bigger talking point

Phone rings. Unknown New York number. Curious, I answer. "Hello?" And old Jewish man replies, "Am I speaking to Mr. Ferny?" "Sorry, wrong number." "Okay." and he hangs up. Either I just got my first, actual, genuine, bonafide wrong number in years, or spam bots are getting REAL sophisticated.

#justnewyorkthings (No, not me, despite the same name)

I sometimes wonder what line Meta would need to cross to get people to actually stop using their products

Yes, Slow Horses is an amazing show that has yet to miss, but an even bigger flex is getting Mick Fucking Jagger to write your theme song.

These were brand new gloves. I'm so tired of this dog.

"English profrishuncy" The writers have gotten so lazy for America's finale season.

"Well if it isn't the consequences of my actions," says an entire generation of toxic parents

Cream cheese-based frostings are evil.

One good thing about family gatherings: sharing heirloom photos. Here is my great-grandmother, circa 1908. Isn't she pretty?

Extended family gatherings are an exercise in smiling politely when people keep telling you to "Just use AI..." for everything (editing photos, practicing Spanish, planning trips, etc) and fighting the urge to go on a rambling, inflamed anti-AI screed.

Countdown to Conservatives lionizing Tommy and turning him into the next Joe the Plumber in 3 ... 2 ...

Dude slunked the slunkiest slunk I ever saw slunked.

It is time

A senator

Narcissus:

I wonder how many people are gonna drive their Teslas off cliffs, relying on the "jets" for a soft landing, the same way Cybertruck owners keep driving into lakes.

These are Henson Creature Shop creations and you cannot convince me otherwise

I have on more than one occasion been mistaken for the youngest of my siblings, despite being nine years older than one of them. It's not because of my youthful looks, it's because I have big Youngest Kid Energy.

Californians, a reminder

Reboot Manimal, cowards

That the race is still so close is testament to how fucked up partisanship has gotten in this country. Almost half of voters still support Paxton, even after the countless scandals, and partying with felons, and all of that, because he's "their guy." Absolutely gobsmacking.

Translation: "We'll take your money and use it to fund people who would rather see you dead. ☺️" Don't care how good the food is, you'll never see me eat at a Chick-fil-A.

Proven: cats are a liquid

Second hand warehouses are a trip

Is there a word for when you exhale in a way that flaps your lips like a horse? It's not a whinny or neigh.

So many takes on why some folks use lowercase. For me it's just when I'm on a keyboard and can't be bothered to reach for the Shift key.