Waldo

Republicans: "I don't understand why everyone keeps calling us racists" RFK jr: "so here's the most racist shit you'll hear all week" Trump: "And take the spotlight from me? Listen to this!"

"AI is going to create so many jobs" -all the tech bros Microsoft "we need to lay off 1/4 of our workers because AI, which we created, is replacing them." The math isn't mathing.

Kiddo and I carved pumpkins. His is just a big loud mouth. And orange The light in its head is barely flickering. And will get tossed out in November. I knew he was clever but dang.

"if we end qualified immunity for ICE/Cops, a ton of them will quit!" Wait, you're telling me if we hold them accountable if they murder someone, they'll quit instead of murdering people? I don't see the problem.

Trump: "I'm going to remove some tariffs to help lower the price of goods!" MAGA: "YOURE A GENIUS!" Everyone else: "You do know trump put the tariffs in place right?" MAGA: "Glue tastes delicious!"

Keep track of which neighbors have Republican lawn signs. Do you really trust the candy someone that supports pedophiles gives out to your kids?

When I say I want a Republican to eat shit, it's most easily accomplished by them shutting their mouth for 5 minutes and then swallowing what they don't spew.

MapQuest should tease a new feature "sex offender layer" which shows where sex offenders live. But for now it only shows the white house and mar a lago.

Its not hard. Zelensky took out right wing bot farms Musk and putins manhood felt threatened so they leveraged dirt they have on trump (election fraud, kid diddling, general corruption) Trump agreed to stop sharing Intel with Ukraine. Its the blind being led by the dumb and corrupt.

Heh, 69. Hole by hole Heh

Political yard signs make it really easy to spot which neighbors are racists.

My phone started going nuts with alerts at 2:20 this morning. I woke up thinking the blood clots finally won. No, it was my brother sending me his chili crisp recipe. Chili crisp is good, but not wake me up at 2:20am good.

You could make a word of the day calendar But instead of a word, each day is just another Republican whose been caught sexually assaulting/harassing/raping someone. And have it go till 2032 From this year alone.

The DCCC: "WOW, we are struggling to flip racists and rapists. Who should we spend our energy on?" Everyone: "Left leaning, empathetic humans who are fed up with the oligarchs and center right Dems?" DCCC: "I know! The anti-trans crowd!" Everyone: 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

How to break HP's websites ai assistant. 1) ask it if a specific model can be setup without the HP app 2) when it confirms that it can, copy paste the manual instructions that say the app is required for installation 3) watch it say "let me help you with that" and then disconnect the chat. Garbage

Women Ukraine The lower class Republicans never support the victims and instead protect and encourage the agressors.

A landlord can call the police to evict a tennant. But if the tenant calls to report no heat, no water, mold etc, they get laughed at. And possibly charged with misuse of police resources. Police protect the profits, not the people. ACAB

I got what I am pretty sure is a phishing email that's just going to harvest my data and put me in financial trouble. Rough that it's coming directly from the social security administration.

"Its not my concern if an ad run by our party was appropriate or not. What is of my concern are the genitals of child athletes!" -JD Vance

Guy has had a user account for 3 months. Just now complained that his name is misspelled. His supervisor submitted the paperwork misspelled. HR confirmed that was accurate. But it's the tech teams fault for not magically knowing the proper spelling. Ugh.

If you were elected to office. And you have power to make change that will help the people. Yet you refuse to make change unless people vote for you so you can stay in office longer. You aren't representing the people. You're representing yourself.

Every spooky season we rewatch all the final destination movies. It makes me hyper aware of morons. Of the 6 cars at the gas station with me, mine was the only one with the engine off while fueling. But the store clerk standing outside the door, next to the propane smoking, was what really got me.

Really glad MapQuest added the "where to get free scrap metal" layer to their app. Its refreshing to have a tech company NOT support fascism.

Ok #rochesterNY, what are your favorite Ethiopian restaurants?

When dipshit decided to randomly rename things I joked "how long until he renames 'New Mexico' to something dumb like 'New America' " We really need one of these blood clots to get to work.

Being a bills fan is a constant roller coaster of emotion. Glad this season has been ending on the highs more than the lows.

Bombing oil refineries? Not cool. Bombing civilians? Totally fine. -Republicans

"I can't believe he's fucking US now!" - people that elected a rapist.

When your people are suffering because the war you started is causing the cost of everything to double, the best way to solve it is to *checks notes* remodel a golf course?

Being endorsed by a pedophile tracks for a genocider.

The only thing privatization has ever improved is the bank accounts of the shareholders. Education Healthcare Infrastructure Utilities All have become worse when they've been privatized.

If there was a way to make releasing the Epstein files increase shareholder wealth they'd have been released, had a movie adaptation, 3 spin offs and its own flavor of energy drink.

It really sucks living in a country run by elected pedophiles, and unelected pedophiles that are filthy rich.

"I can't believe she didn't pass the bar exam. How hard is it. There's tequila, rum, whiskey, gin and vodka!" - Pete Hegseth.

Republicans are going hard on the racism because it's their only policy they actually follow through with.

I catch a lot of spiderwebs to the face. I thought it was because I was tall. Turns out, people of all heights catch spiderwebs to the face. Meaning I catch them to my face, chest, stomach, crotch etc. I'm probably covered in spider webs more than I think.

Some white house aide screwed up on day one and switched the labels on the "trump popularity" and "gas price" charts. Its got to be the only explanation to why he thinks gas is cheap and he is popular.

When you go to vote, each candidate has a letter arte their name. (R)apist (R)acist (R)ussian (R)obber

Cool stuff, 2nd drive of the night I aced in glow league. 222 feet with a westside underworld. My longest ace so far.

America is a lot like a mobile game. The advertisement looks really cool, but once you get there you realize it doesn't look the same at all, you have to pay a ton of money for any of the features, and it steals your data.

*me dressed up for Halloween in plain clothes with just a box ringing doorbell* Homeowner: "and what are you supposed to be?" Me: "everybody's favorite. BOOO!" (throws box at homeowner) Homeowner: "BEEEEEES!" Me running away: "Everyone loves boobees!"

If only they'd fire all the other incompetent liars in the administration, it might not be such a feces dumpster fire.

The filthy rich are the cause of most of the world's problems.

Can you imagine getting paid $174,000 a year to make sure pedophiles don't get arrested? And most of that time you're either on vacation or charging people to eat with you while you tell them how good you are at not letting pedophiles get arrested? Fuck Republicans.

We invented an entire industry that's sole purpose is to allow the filthy rich to avoid paying taxes, and to finance their entire lives with money that doesn't actually exist. But no, it's giving food to hungry children, and brown people existing that's causing the economic disparity to widen....

"I was told I can call myself a lawyer" - Katie Zacharis, who is a obviously not a lawyer because she would know that falsely claiming to be one is a violation of the law. And this is the party that constantly says unqualified people are given jobs due to their skin color/gender. 🤷‍♂️

To the surprise of absolutely no one, the department that has the hardest time following policies for onboarding new staff is Human Resources. Even though they make and enforce the policies. 🤦‍♂️

"we are experiencing a longer than normal wait time" Me: yeah, because not only did you double my garbage bill over the last 2 years, but you cut your call center staff to save money, so people are pissed and calling in. If you just let me cancel online we all win! Capitalism sucks.