Wayne Barrett's Ghost

He's a few shingles away from a full roof.

He fired his retro-rockets a little late.

He's a few buttons short of a remote.

He's a few threads away from a strong argument.

He's as bright as a small appliance bulb.

He doesn't have his shit in one sock.

His GPS thinks he's in a cartoon.

He's full throttle, but has a dry tank.

His steering is by committee.

His fuel is glitter.

He has two neurons separated by a spirochete.

He's been napping in front of the ion shield again.

He has a short-circuit between the earphones.

His search function returns "404 Brain Not Found".

He's a sausage short of a barbecue.

He's trying to teach a rock to read.

His calculator says 2+2=5.

He's a few chapters short of a book.

He's not running on full thrusters.

He's trying to use a bookmark in a movie.

He's trying to climb a mountain of butter.

He's trying to climb a glass wall.

He's a few feathers short of a pillow.

He's as dumb as a box of rocks.

His calculator can only subtract.

He's a few stitches away from a unraveling.

He has diarrhea of the mouth, constipation of the ideas.

His engine backfires compliments.

He wears a pony tail to cover up the valve stem.

His brakes are made of wet noodles.

He doesn't have all of his groceries in the same bag.

He's a few stitches short of a seam.

He hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain.

He's a couple of bytes short of a full disk.

He's a few words away from a complete thought.

He has the IQ of a salad bar.

He's trying to use a seesaw by himself.

His car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat.

He's collecting cards for Craig.

He's trying to use a soap bubble as a helmet.

He builds monuments to himself and calls them businesses.

His remote only changes the channel on his neighbor's TV.

He has constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth.

He mistakes applause for approval and attention for respect.

He has his solar panels aimed at the moon.

His compass spins when he thinks too hard.

He's a hamburger short of a Happy Meal.

He's trying to solve a mystery with no clues.

His horn plays "La Cucaracha" at a funeral.

His vacancy light is always on.