Weaian

what about the bugs in my skin

the voices are gone

DAAMMMMMNNN ‼️ the bugs are back

i don’t know anymore

I should run for the House of Representatives. I have the credentials

listening to phonk:; knitting balaclava for my pet earthworm, joe . stylish

call me a succulent, , cause Im green and pointy. This post was sponsored by Brilliant

aw shucks., rat man took my food again. im thankful for Benadryl™

i fear no man . i fear the homunculus !!

[ insert thirst trap here ]. kowabunga ! !

* * A S C E R T A I N T H E C O N T E N T S O F M Y B I O * *

you should watch elon musks “pig scandal”

they told me the libe rals would be here. , hello!? have a nice day

i will claim the mandate of heaven. begone

sir get out from under the blankie

straight up GLORPED rn: gemme behind the whee el of a motor automobile

i am the antichrist ! send this to your friends on the interwebs

singularity this,. singularity that. singularideez nuts

wait just a minute., this isn’t reddit

it’s wacky wednesday (for those of us still with a soul)

ameri ca

i rose from a peat bog and started the Cold War

im the only one that’s real

i am eating exactly 32 almonds

there is a tall man living in my bathtub and he won’t fucking leave,. I have to shower with him there and it’s very uncomfortable and he tells me the secrets of my loved ones

someone replace me with an AI stat

im hitting that German Geek till i feel like a millennial

im a radical anarcho-Bidenist

some of you may be pondering why the world is falling apart. ill come clean it was me I got bored

i said get in the air fryer you cretin

the horrors are engramatically represented in my prefrontal cortex, , and i will get them out with a fork

hey Silicon Valley,. move fast and break me

when my kids get into the future uber it will gain sentience and claim the children as its own they will learn to forage for crumbs in the cushions and emerge years later to usher in the next great holy war #oops

hello europeans,. youre a peein’ haha

Me: *Unwraps suspiciously human-shaped gift* oh my god did you get me secretary of transportation Pete Buttigieg??!?! Pete: water

I’m trapped in my brain and I can’t get out

The furnace! The furnace!

Call me Endowed Jones the way I be stocking

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we will all perish in the plague

| BREAKING | ‼️ bad

fuck

rid yourself of all earthly possessions and give them to me. I need them for the resource wars

AAAAAAAAUGH *breath* AAAAAAAAUGH *breath* *winces* “finally! I attained the perfect bowling physique” - my cousin Derek

feeling tranquil and mildly congested

ive been told the bees are coming. seethe

they won’t tell you this. But the pizzagate was a big gate made of pizza Share