Weird Al Lyrics

And what better way to say I LOVE YOU than with the gift of a spatula?

You make me wanna hang out in a trailer park, then take my hamster to the beach

You can watch us any time that you please. You can sit around and stare at the picture tube till your brain turns into cottage cheese.

And my girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time!

Now, everyone said Californie is the place that you oughta be. We got to load up this here truck now. We got to move to Beverly

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove 'em with a pitchfork

Gimme a steak, medium rare

You should-a taste my lasagna!

La-la-la-la-lasagna! You want-a some-a lasagna magnifico, or a-maybe spaghetti?

I think I'm a clone now. There's always two of me just a-hangin' around. I think I'm a clone now Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down.

Brown sugar, how come you taste so good

Your butt is wide, well mine is too. Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you

When I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, what I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry

I used to be a pinball freak. That's where you'd find me every week. But now it's Pacman!

It's Christmas at Ground Zero, now the missiles are on their way. What a crazy fluke, we're gonna get nuked on this jolly holiday

My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise, I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!

I'd flush myself right down the toilet, but I'd just clog up the drain

Met this fine young thing at the local Circle K

It's Christmas at Ground Zero. There's panic in the crowd. We can dodge debris while we trim the tree underneath a mushroom cloud!

I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink. There have been times when I've peed in your sink

Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear

Wear a hat that's foil lined, in case an alien's inclined to probe your butt or read your mind

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin. It's the end of all humanity. No more time for last minute shopping it's time to face your final destiny

So why don't you use it. Try not to bruise it

Gave you buttered toast I dropped and then picked up off the floor

It's Christmas at Ground Zero! The button has been pressed. The radio just let us know that this is not a test

Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted. The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted.

I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree. A big swarm of locusts is following me. There's not even anything good on TV

They're always in the mood for something to munch. Oh, girls, they want to have lunch

Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?

Did a great figure eight in the middle of the interstate

Some girls like to buy new shoes, and others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos

But Obi Wan, he set me straight, of course. He said go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah, where it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks, or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue

I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue, than spend one more minute with you

She's a demon behind the wheel, thinks she's drivin' the Batmobile

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork, than watch you going out with other men

You just hit another tree! These fender benders are killin' me

You ain't gonna break my heart in two. Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face, than spend one more minute with you

My spleen just doesn't matter. Don't really care about my bladder. But I don't leave home without my pancreas

Hear the story of the man born without a head

I hope I'm not being forward, but do you mind if I chew on your butt?

It's alright, You can play your Twisted Sister every night

Black shades, white gloves. Lookin' sharp, lookin' for love!

I get a thrill being mentally ill

I'm glad that you found somebody new. Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than spend one more minute with you.

I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on. I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon

Well, I went out to a party just the other night. I was jammin' to the music, I was feelin' alright!