a weird cupcake

We are deep into the "if I can't have you, no one can" stage of white Republicans' decades-long abusive relationship with America, and I suspect that we've all watched enough true-crime TV to know how this is going to end.

The big light is a neurohostile scam by Big Big Light to sell more big lights

you rang

Constantly amazed by how many gigantic transnational corporations have websites that just fundamentally don't work. Any company that actively makes it difficult for me to give them money should be forcibly dissolved by the government and the proceeds redistributed to the poor.

If you’re going to blast your way out into traffic without looking, literally the least you can do is not chicken out halfway through.

Figs are gross. I hate the taste and the inside looks like bugs. I’m good with pretty much anything else. And by far the best fresh fruit I’ve ever had was in Jamaica. Pineapple, melon, and guava so sweet and flavorful it’ll change your life. Also, ackee & saltfish is an underrated delicacy.

And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, had one job on this lousy ship. It’s stupid, but he’s going to do it, okay?