wetchurch 〰️🛸🌌

peacefully rotating, this is so nice [ ⓘ 𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘚 𝘜𝘚𝘌𝘙 𝘐𝘚 𝘜𝘕𝘈𝘞𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘠 𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘐𝘕 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘔𝘐𝘊𝘙𝘖𝘞𝘈𝘝𝘌 ]

i would never pay to watch live sports because the pirate streams are the only place i'll ever see commercials for hvac contractors local to akron, ohio

google chrome incognito google dot com can dog eat crab rangoon enter

listen, i don't have much time, the pizza rolls. pizza rolls. they're not - it's not dough. you think it's dough and sauce but it's not. they're like... they're creatures. they grow them in vats full of shit. they wriggle around all day in shit. don't eat the rolls. you can't trust totino

10-12 egg rolls is a nutritionally complete meal

BREAKING: fan favorite podracer and winner of last year's Mandalore 500 Ben Quadrinaros is facing calls to resign from the sport after shocking videos surface of the intoxicated pilot harassing twi'lek dancers at Hutt 'eyes wide shut' party

laying in bed four AM can't sleep googling lemur getting really scared

not CHOICES either

you're not allowed to judge me for my thoughts, actions, values, or statements. anything else is fair game

around age 30 i decided the rest of my life would be dedicated primarily to just kind of hanging out

ohp, my mistake

me: rid yourself of desire and be present in the moment. that's the key to finding peace my dog, staring at my food: wow. just say no. asshole

sometimes people say "no pun intended" when they did intend it. they did intend it

my team at work has started using Rally ticketing to keep track of projects and it's remarkable how quickly it shifts everyone's focus from "getting shit done" to "ensuring i have a documented history of productivity," which is NOT the same thing at all

sup man, thanks for coming over. hey, this is a shoes-off house, you can leave them by the door. yep, pants too. just hang your shirt on the rack. want a beer?

banks should offer a virtual ATM where you withdraw money online and they send doordash to your house with an envelope full of cash

old timey guys really snapped with "consarn it"

olivia miles

thinking of becoming a middleman. not sure yet what product or industry but i'm confident about the business model

olivia miles

might take two or three decades off work

every 3-6 months i inexplicably procrastinate on a major work project for weeks til round 6pm the day before some important meeting i caffeine pill myself into an all-nighter and complete it while Experiencing Hell. there are no external consequences for this and i will never learn to stop, probably

the cissest thing i did as a boy in college was put my two tegan and sara posters on my dorm room ceiling

i do support animal testing because quite frankly it's unfair that only humans get to enjoy research chemicals

good news. pistachio rosemary spring onion pizza

finally dialed in my mental health stack. it's estrogen, ozempic, ashwaganda, microdosed psilocybin, allegra, tums, metamucil, hitting my weed pen at work, and one djarum black every 14 days

i have these noise canceling headphones i really like but every time i sneeze they make a weird chime beep sound and turn off the noise canceling feature

did a FOIA for my Palantir profile and it says i'm a "suspected homosexual?"

drunk in the hotel room despondent that i can't text my dog

if you get good enough at SQL you can become kind of an office Rasputin figure who no one understands but everyone fears and respects

doggirl lil jon: til the vet take both my balls

does anyone know how to prepare if you have to fly to texas for a work conference next week and would prefer not to get hantavirus. do i take ashwagandha

i've got macroplastics in my blood. they showed me the scan and it's like army men and dinosaurs in there

another NFL draft is over. and once again, all thirty-two (!) teams have failed to draft a single woman,