Will Madden

People seem to feel there's no way to prevent Zuckerberg from trying to interfere in more elections, but . . . That's more cowardice than fact, is it?

Look, I know so much worse is going on in the world right now, but those Liberty Mutual ads have to result in felony convictions.

Nobody wants to live in a time of political violence, but if most politicians had an idea how funny we'd find it if they died of an aneurysm tomorrow, I think we'd find ourselves in a much different political climate.

I mean, which do you care more about, the world's fresh water supply or the legitimacy of the Nebula award? (HINT: All awards are fucking stupid.)

BTW, it's entirely reasonable to say you want the whole LLM thing shut down, because you'd rather shoot someone expensive in the eye than pay for it anymore, which you've absolutely been doing. And even if it weren't reasonable, you could still say it.

I truly cannot believe there were *ever* more than five people on earth who wanted to know more about Coldplay's frontman.

Sounds like nobody stayed for the post credits scene where Elizabeth Holmes gangsta raps at the end

Once I saw a headline that the human ear can hear temperature, actually, but when you click it, it says, yes, you see, when water boils, and I was like, I will cut you in half.

Ever write a story so weird, you worried about your mental health? Is . . . Was it all of them?

My biological age is every time I hear something new has come out, part of me clenches and whispers Jesus fucking Christ.

I used to give all my friends' novels a 5 star rating on Goodreads but today I'm heading back to adjust them to 4.75 just to keep things honest.

It's crazy how they keep making SNL even though you're long past being 14.

Some days I just want to put into the universe a big "Fuck You" to everyone involved with the Pop Tart movie.

Like, how crap would tv news have to get before you just stopped watching?

I feel like most books these days are "What if that popular meme were 300 pages?"

Does crocheting multiple Cthulhu stuffies feel like an act of devotion toward The Great Old One? Kinda. A little bit.

CNN has been such an uncritical parrot of batshit right-wing propaganda for so long, that whether they now take a stance against Trump or proclaim him the second coming of Jesus Christ barely makes a difference. Courage and integrity was ten years ago, assholes.

Jesus, I feel like every novel I read these days are just people telling me the most boring thing they dreamed last night.

The Mitch McConnell debacle is still a coverup and a crime, and the fact that nobody can articulate that and get angry about it is why this regime is still walking over everybody.

To be clear, I want Trump removed no matter what happens in November.

Too many people in this country got their ideas about morality from TV shows made to sell children's toys, and it shows.

Ten years ago I paid a $2 submission fee to a literary magazine. Sometimes the shame of it still keeps me up at night.

Years ago, I bought an aloe because I thought I would love having an aloe plant in my house. Turns out, I was correct. I love having an aloe.

If someone can't understand why AI stories are inherently worthless, I don't know in what way they can be described as literate. Communication requires two parties. This is fundamental to understanding anything.

Every news headline I see lately is like: AI: Here's Why You Should Totally Start Falling For This

"Real" writing is indie writing.

No disrespect to anyone but . . . When someone says "X time professional wrestling champion," what exactly am I supposed to feel?

I mean . . . I'm sad as anyone but . . Is really no one gonna mention how the first time they saw "9 to 5" they thought Holy shit! That took a turn I didn't expect! ?

Also, people are reading horror novels with happy endings now? Wtf are you doing, the world?

Yesterday a reader of Kevin of the Werewolf: Shattered Moon handed me a typed up review with some of her favorite quotes from the novel and a list of films she thought I might enjoy. It came with stickers. Pretty much the nicest thing a reader has ever done!

In the 2010s the question was how to prevent environmental devastation without spoiling the earning potential of billionaires. In the 2020s the question became how to dislodge an unconstitutional crime regime from power without breaking any rules. Guys! Guys.

I feel like the world needs a twenty year moratorium on new technologies.

I'm not entirely sure what this means, but I suddenly feel like everything I've been led to believe is wrong.

The Star Wars crossover I want is with Fast And The Furious, and nothing else even comes close. #FastWarsStarFurious

It's not less of a crime if you do it by taking a vote.

Look, I know I say this about absolutely everything, but a live action Jetsons movie really does sound like the heat death of the universe.

I'm worried that the Internet can and will overuse everything to the point of meaningless but . . . Part of me thinks "there's no sex scenes and all the food looks horrible" should be used as criticism anywhere and everywhere it applies.

Your 40s are special because you have to decide if you want to hurt from too much exercise or too little. Because, surprise, your body is now unfit for both activity *and* inertia.

Superheroes are so poorly suited to live action and such a good fit for animation that I cannot comprehend why we insist on tearing down civilization to get it wrong.

Fiction writers always whinge about "killing your darlings." They should call it "slapping your ugly kids with a cast iron skillet" and make it fun for everyone.

I don't know what the fuss is. I, like most people, have it in my advance directive that the only people allowed to visit me on my deathbed are ones with reason to lie about whether I'm alive.

You can vote for whoever you want in November, but America is fucked until people are ready to put Senators in jail.

US senators voting to allow Trump to continue with his beast stupid war with Iran should themselves be treated as war criminals. The whole point of the Senate is to do indefensible shit without accountability. That needs to end. Immediately.

4/5 undead seals in tutus agree! Kevin The Vampire is a delightful romp!

If the news is just gonna repeat what some dumbass says as if it were a serious thing, why can't *I* be that dumbass?

I've pretty much no idea what "offbeat" comedy means.

My mood is shifting from embarrassed for Andy Beshear to furious at him.

If you know somebody who had to pay a weirder rent, please share. I want to know the world's weirdest rent. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_...

I like that the letters in the Jeopardy! logo all have fiveheads like they are total brainiacs.