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Being in your 30’s means getting wasted and watching VHS rips of PB&J Otters.

Also jobs and taxes, and seeing the doctor.

Parents that thought of animation as a lesser, purple art form that now regularly watch AI-generated soap operas.

I no longer morn my failure as a cartoonist or whatever. The world that inspired me no longer exists. Specifically, what inspired me to be an artist, that environment no longer exists. Had I made no mistakes, I still never could have been part of that world.

Maybe I’m being unfair, maybe I’m asking for too much, too idealistic. It is what it is. Balance of art and commerce. We’re now in an era where commerce is a bigger part of the equation.

I no longer morn my failure as a cartoonist or whatever. The world that inspired me no longer exists. Specifically, what inspired me to be an artist, that environment no longer exists. Had I made no mistakes, I still never could have been part of that world.

The stuff that inspired me to be an artist… An example: Staying up past midnight, and seeing a weird-ass cartoon on Adult Swim. Seeing FLCL like that is a unique experience that doesn’t exist anymore. You understand?

I’m developing a bizarre level of cynicism. Personally, I now find melodrama distasteful. Intense romantic notions, I.e. shit like “The power of friendship” These grandiose ideas that passion and a desire for good can improve the world.

Tropes and concepts commonly found in shonen manga, the material that inspired me, drove me, pushed me to become the human I am today. Now just feels like a bitter lie. The passions that propelled me now just feel like ash in my mouth.

I’m also one of those dipshits that sometimes thinks, “maybe when we make first contact, the aliems will fix us with their vast space wisdom” But then I realize I’m just inventing religion again. In my youth, I scoffed at religion, but now in my advanced age, I understand why people cling to it.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still think “My make-believe bullshit justifies me being a bigot” is totally lame, BUT- -I now understand why people feel comforted by the concept of a higher power.

I’m becoming one of those dipshits that thinks I could thrive as a post-apocalypse hermit.

Imagining a humble shack in the middle of nowhere. Presumably non-irradiated, I’d have a chicken coop, a small field of potatoes, and a well. I’d live alone with my collection of surviving books. Once a month, I’d trek to the nearest civilization hub to barter my handmade trinkets and baubles.

Maybe I'm dumb, but not of Claire's weapons felt particularly unique compared to Leon's. Like sure, there were differences, but especially among the smaller guns, there were rarely situations where I was like, "Well I NEED the Amy for THIS scenario!"

A large number of TV psychics should get together, and all make the same prediction that the world was ending in the near future. Like do the cold-read schtick, but be like, "You will find love this spring, and then... then... Hm... That's strange I can't see anything beyond that... for anyone!"