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every litter box i've ever owned has been bought in a near-panic at whatever big-box pet store, i had no idea Big Litter had gotten so out of control

All I can say is: don’t get taken in by any shape that’s not rectangular or any box with “extra features”. I got an oval one that has a built in step that’s supposed to limit how much litter they take with them and all it does is provide an area that is hassle to scoop and clean.