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any autopsy you can walk away from is a good one.

No corpus delecti for you!

call off the funeral imo

Get a second opinion. You never know.

The autopsy formula works like this. Subtrack your age from your Systolic BP and divide by your bad cholesterol. Multiply the result by the number of teeth without fillings and then convert from Centigrade to Fahrenheit. Any readings under 451 are negative. Does that help?

They kept you in that drawer for way too long.

not bad, wisenheimer

You’re still a taxpayer

Probably a good sign.

just mostly dead

A fight with your insurer about the bill.

goddammit (or Nov 1)

I think it means you’re still alive

Are you going to ask for a second opinion? 😁

It's pizza night!

I think it means that this joke will be the death of you

It means you do not get priority seating in the cemetery.

Toyotathon is nigh?

What do they know I thought it was great

*debb

Let me put it this way. You’re gonna be real popular come Halloween.

You're alive, I think.

You are not dead but you are very pessimistic.