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Start here: the jokes you all stole the most. Help yourself, they're free to steal.

Boss: Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here. Me: Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though, as public transport on weekends is slow. Boss: What time will you get here? Me: Monday

People often ask me why I wanted to be a film editor. Well, to cut a long story short...

Wife: I have to tell you something, I'm pregnant. Husband: Hi pregnant, I'm dad. Wife: No you're not.

A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.

Can you believe it says in the Bible that men should make their wife's coffee every day? Yep, it's right there in Hebrews.