Post

haicat
@hai.cat

another psychosis i had was that the universe was all a hallucination caused by the inability to accept the fundamental truth: that the other and the self are one and the same. that existence is perpetuated by the forced & abusive separation of the other from the self. that the other's existence is

haicat@hai.cat

one time i had a psychosis episode where i thought that universe was just a side effect of some really complex computation and every soul's world line was a branch in the calculation and when you died it was the universe deciding that your branch wouldnt lead to the solution

0 reposts5 likes

haicat
@hai.cat

im familiar with them and yeah i realize there's very close similarities but there's subtle differences that i can't really articulate unfortunately. u just kinda had to be there (in my brain lol)

haicat
@hai.cat

like it was very *geometrical* and i realize that does not clear it up in the slightest u just gotta trust that my flavor of crazy is unique and special xD

haicat
@hai.cat

also the singularity i saw was definitely not something id say was "desirable" to achieve like if that's what ppl call enlightenment i want nothing to do with it. a more desirable state would be lowering the oscillations into a parallel flow rather than letting it collapse entirely

haicat
@hai.cat

to be a vessel to contain the suffering, and to acknowledge this would shatter the illusory separation and annihilate both. to love the other is to get close. to get close is to draw nearer to annihilation. the only way for existence to persist is to then force the separation again. over and over

haicat
@hai.cat

and that existence is an endless oscillation of the other and self, drawing closer, and pulling apart. endless cycles of love and abuse