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I feel your angst and you're not wrong. My feeling though is it's not limited to just DevRel. A lot of software engineers now feel like "meat proxies" and roles in tech are demanding more but offering less. It can definitely feel a little bleak.

My biggest frustration is that there are many of the meat proxies whose opinions I would love to hear from that I can’t because I haven’t met them yet and the noise surrounding them is deafening. Side note: I played bass for Meat Proxy and we slapped.

Your friend: «"good job with a paycheck and existential dread" is better than looking for that next opportunity that would require a literal 25% pay decrease.» Living in "existential dread" for them is OK as long as they don't earn less? Those people will destroy the world with AI if we let them.