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Me: *thinking* I sure could go for some eggs Powerful Chicken Lenore’s mom: you’ll never guess what my chickens were harassing by the porch Me: please tell me it’s eggs My client: think…hairier. *OK Go starts playing* PORCH ORPHAN

Ahrnge

Just a scoop of orange sherbet please. A little one.

My day has been long and difficult, but we finally found a nipple in the box that he likes! But I don’t have a bottle that fits it. So I’m laying on the couch like a lump waiting for it to be delivered to me and no, I have absolutely no shame about this because it’s for the baby.

I usually do not patronize the Walmart

The secret to finally getting a stubborn kitten to eat is apparently being completely incoherent and begging them to cooperate while offering the contents of your pockets ($0.64 and a 40mg Protonix)

Are we about to get a visit from the Eyeball Fairy?????