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Reminds me of the Escobar phone, promoted by the (and I am quoting them here) "chief of assassinations of the Medellin cartel"

just saw a TD Bank title of an acquaintance that is "Head of Cybercrime"

I'm on the fraud task force at work, which isn't as much fun as it sounds.

i'm too baffled to even make a snarky comment

Had to be done. imgflip.com/i/ake95h

this is probably preferable to [employer]'s "if you do financial crimes we will make you fill out the paperwork yourself" policy

true to the insurance industry I typoed the shit out of that because I’m on my phone at a bar

old and busted: be gay, do crimes new hotness: be super gay, become head of crimes