Post

Esoteric Jeff, now there's someone I haven't heard of in awhile

Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

24 Mar

engagement bait prompt: what's your favorite Onion article? I think mine has to be this one theonion.com/new-subway-p...

theonion.comNew Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11MILFORD, CT—Citing a wide range of deals customers will “never forget,” fast food chain Subway announced an exciting new promotion this week to honor and commemorate Subtember 11. “With a number of te...

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

24 Mar

and this one is a close second theonion.com/fire-consume...

theonion.comFire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And PlayRAVENA, NY—Authorities confirmed a four-alarm blaze tore through the countryside Sunday, burning down a picturesque farm where thousands of sick and elderly dogs had been sent by parents who wanted th...

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

24 Mar

oh man the real Lathe of Heaven bsky.app/profile/crai...

Craig Harrington@craigipedia.bsky.social

This is the one. theonion.com/after-obama-...

theonion.comAfter Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016Sources say the screaming orb might be the only potential candidate that would tap into Republicans’ deep-seated, seething fury after this election.

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

also theonion.com/american-peo...

theonion.comAmerican People Hire High-Powered Lobbyist To Push Interests In CongressWASHINGTON—Citing a desire to gain influence in Washington, the American people confirmed Friday that they have hired high-powered D.C. lobbyist Jack Weldon of the firm Patton Boggs to help advance th...

24/3/26, 8:27 pm9 reposts231 likes

Andrew Kniss

@wyoweeds.bsky.social

25 Mar

"Mr. Hollywood movie star, who apparently has never once gotten his hand stuck inside a grain auger or had a ring finger pulped by a carelessly swung sledgehammer, reportedly gets the goo-goo eyes from all the waitresses at Tyler’s Diner..." theonion.com/mr-pretty-bo...

theonion.comMr. Pretty-Boy Farmer Still Has All His FingersPARKERSBURG, IA—Forty-eight-year-old local farmer Eli Ridley is a real pretty-boy looker who still has all 10 of his digits, sources reported Monday.