Post

Esoteric Jeff, now there's someone I haven't heard of in awhile

Ben Collins@bencollins.bsky.social

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

24 Mar

engagement bait prompt: what's your favorite Onion article? I think mine has to be this one theonion.com/new-subway-p...

theonion.comNew Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11MILFORD, CT—Citing a wide range of deals customers will “never forget,” fast food chain Subway announced an exciting new promotion this week to honor and commemorate Subtember 11. “With a number of te...

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

and this one is a close second theonion.com/fire-consume...

theonion.comFire Consumes Big Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And PlayRAVENA, NY—Authorities confirmed a four-alarm blaze tore through the countryside Sunday, burning down a picturesque farm where thousands of sick and elderly dogs had been sent by parents who wanted th...

24/3/26, 7:03 pm13 reposts608 likes

Laura Sell

@laurasell.bsky.social

24 Mar

theonion.com/new-toyota-s...

theonion.comNew Toyota SUV Holds Eight Passengers And Their SUVs

Lizzie O'Leary

@lizzieohreally.bsky.social

24 Mar

it's so grim but theonion.com/54-iraqis-di...

theonion.com54 Iraqis Die In Not Our Problem AnymoreBAGHDAD—A series of massive explosions ripped through a crowded central Baghdad market on Friday, killing at least 54 Iraqi citizens in not our problem anymore.

Bouba's Delivery Service

@fernmonkey.bsky.social

24 Mar

If we're doing heartbreaking, this one is up there.

theonion.com97-Year-Old Dies Unaware Of Being Violin ProdigyROCKFORD, IL—Retired post office branch manager Nancy Hollander, 97, died at her home of natural causes Tuesday, after spending her life completely unaware that she was one of the most talented musici...

𝕯𝖗. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐚 𝐌𝐮𝐢𝐫 ❌👑

@theresamuir.bsky.social

24 Mar

My all-time favorite: theonion.com/fucking-yank...

theonion.comFucking Yankees, Reports NationBOSTON—Moments after the New York Yankees continued a month-long stretch that has seen them climb from the bottom of the AL East to pull within a once unfathomable four games of the first-place Red So...

John. Just John.

@justjohn.bsky.social

25 Mar

Same vibe as my favorite Onion sports article theonion.com/derek-jeter-...

theonion.comDerek Jeter Makes Easy Play Look EasyNEW YORK—Thanks to his vaunted grace and tremendous skill, Yankees captain Derek Jeter was able Tuesday night to make a pop-up to shortstop look as routine as it actually was. "Look at him effortlessl...

𝕯𝖗. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐚 𝐌𝐮𝐢𝐫 ❌👑

@theresamuir.bsky.social

25 Mar

theonion.com/yankees-disa...

theonion.comYankees Disabled List Absolutely StackedNEW YORK—After recently acquiring third baseman Alex Rodriguez, center fielder Curtis Granderson, first baseman Mark Teixeira, and shortstop Derek Jeter, the New York Yankees disabled list is absolute...

Gaknar

@gaknar.bsky.social

24 Mar

theonion.com/clinton-thre...

theonion.comClinton Threatens To Drop Da Bomb On IraqCHOCOLATE CITY—In an address before an emergency session of Parliament Monday, George Clinton said he is prepared to drop Da Bomb on Iraq if Saddam Hussein does not loosen up and comply with U.N. weap...

Bouba's Delivery Service

@fernmonkey.bsky.social

24 Mar

I remember hoping that we might get more of those if Hillary won.

Julie The Real Jules

@jtrjules.bsky.social

24 Mar

Another one from that era: theonion.com/clinton-depl...

theonion.comClinton Deploys Very Special Forces To IraqWASHINGTON, DC—Preparing for another possible showdown with Iraq, President Clinton deployed more than 15,000 very special U.S. forces to the Persian Gulf region Tuesday.

ryan cooper

@ryanlcooper.com

24 Mar

oh man the real Lathe of Heaven bsky.app/profile/crai...

Craig Harrington@craigipedia.bsky.social

This is the one. theonion.com/after-obama-...

theonion.comAfter Obama Victory, Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage Early GOP Front-Runner For 2016Sources say the screaming orb might be the only potential candidate that would tap into Republicans’ deep-seated, seething fury after this election.

mogeopraxis.bsky.social

@mogeopraxis.bsky.social

24 Mar

I think about this article 3-4 times a week - no lie.

👻 Nick Boo-wer 👻

@nickrbrewer.bsky.social

24 Mar

theonion.com/l-oreal-susp...

theonion.comL’Oreal Suspends Production Of Irresistible 2-Step Lip Color Stick After Lab Rat Seduces Way Out Of FacilityNEW YORK—Warning that the sultry, long-lasting product had been instrumental in the company’s biggest security breach to date, L’Oreal has halted testing of their Irresistible 2-Step Lip Color Stick F...

ineptitudinous.bsky.social

@ineptitudinous.bsky.social

24 Mar

It’s unfathomably cruel and tasteless, but here goes…

Ryan Carson

@rycarson.bsky.social

OMG

also theonion.com/american-peo...

theonion.comAmerican People Hire High-Powered Lobbyist To Push Interests In CongressWASHINGTON—Citing a desire to gain influence in Washington, the American people confirmed Friday that they have hired high-powered D.C. lobbyist Jack Weldon of the firm Patton Boggs to help advance th...

Andrew Kniss

@wyoweeds.bsky.social

25 Mar

"Mr. Hollywood movie star, who apparently has never once gotten his hand stuck inside a grain auger or had a ring finger pulped by a carelessly swung sledgehammer, reportedly gets the goo-goo eyes from all the waitresses at Tyler’s Diner..." theonion.com/mr-pretty-bo...