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Sadly, this doesn’t appear to be satire.

Gotta love The Onion! 😂🙏

😄😆😆

SLING. SHOTS.

actual truth being the only satire available at this point🫣

This is the truth!

Using a US flag like this is against flag ettiquette.

Holy shit, such a concise summary of ICE. A+ work.

Aren't you supposed to do satire? ;)

This is what a 6 year old playing Seal Team looks like. FFS.

Honky Kong

What's the fucking headcam for ? Documenting himself ?

ICE recruiting poster.

Another Onion reminder that we are in the upside-down where the real news is satirical beyond belief

How many crimes do you have to commit to get hired? I need to know how many lies to put on my resume'.

Unmask ICE

@theonion.com, when did you stop doing satire?

Loser scaredy cat wannabe soldiers. Go back to your parents basement and play whatever.

Have you ever shot a puppy for being a puppy?

I could pick this guy out of a lineup of 100 men, easy.

If you were proud of the job you do, you would show your face.

Absolute cosplaying psychos.

202 224 3121 Call your legislators. resist.bot/petitions/PJ...

Quit printing real news. We have other sources for that.

An explanation by an American farmer on how Agriculture led to the current ICE crisis. www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCVy...

Satan’s performance review: “Exceeds expectations.”

Is previous break and enter experience a trait

ICE agents are likely the guys nobody wants to date, the coward trolls on the Internet, the guy who did not get picked for the team.., ever. That is the trait for most male police officers. It is definitely a trait for male ICE kidnappers. A small trait away from mass shooter.🤷🏼‍♀️

ICE recruitment

Bounty hunters covering their faces=pusillanimous

You cooked with this one😭

"I value the opportunity to use my law enforcement skills to enforce the nation’s immigration laws in a fair and effective manner" Have at it, Onion

IIII III.

Literally.

The photo won’t load, but Ima gonna guess: Face tattoos?

These are fucking Proud Boys.

“Ful ofte in game a sooth I have herd seye!”

True, true, true!! But still, oh so funny.😆😁😆 love you, Onion!🥰

Requirements: Nasty attitude, bad breath, loner with social hostility. Also must be able to kick pigeons 50 feet in the air.

If and when this is over, I'll never consider any former ICE agent for employment. One agency Hoovered up the worst of us.

Be a virtual protester against #AlligatorAlcatraz and #ICE “How to do it: Go to Facebook, create a post, tap “Check In,” and search for “Dade-Collier Training and Transition Airport.” It’ll pop right up.” “Let’s jam the system and flood the feed.

It would be wrong to flood the ICE line with nonsense tips,music, poetry, or anything else that takes away from its important mission. “America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.” Abraham Lincoln

Their ideal woman is one who is always lactating and can withstand a military grade laser to the tits.

If you sleep with a gun and believe Joe Biden is a robot, contact your ICE Recruiter today!

Venezuelan gangs have infiltrated ICE

the suburbs

I have been filling the Onion for nearly 20 years now, I struggle to think of a time they were not making good satire. Are you saying it was bad before or after Global Tetrahedron bought it?

I kinda miss the onion being satire instead of the only news outlet that actually gets it and reports what's really going on (mostly)

I thought this was supposed to be a satire account 🥴

🔞MDNI

They are ICEholes!

Careful, you are being much too truthful here. The sarcasm is too much on the edge.

Yes.

Walmart greeters fired for roughhousing elderly shoppers go to the top of the ICE agent hiring list.

Come 2028?

Why doesn’t some talented person on this site attach a photo of a masked ICE thug to each member of the Senate and the Congress so that that is the photo used for each of them. For all we know it could be them, we don’t know they’re masked!

Probably felony convictions too.

Hey @theonion.com I appreciate the hard work y'all are doing, but I'm genuinely curious. Has it been difficult to continue making satire when the reality we live in is so absurd?

Previous AND future

Don't just stand there! Fight back! These guys have the right idea! Take the fight to them! No unnecessary escalation but meeting violence with violence.

ID these goons. Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Take off the stars and strips. You know right from wrong and you're not standing up for what is right!

The Onion puts out bangers every day lately.

That’s why their release was swift.😖

Once more, not satire, just truth.