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This isn't satire, it's the cartoon logic my brain uses to justify being constantly on edge at almost all times

Mine doesn't seem to know about ranged weapons. A sniper could totally get me.

YES!

AI

the type of shit my anxiety comes up with in my mind

I knew it.

Shouldn't be funny, but it is. Just can't let your guard now days. Sigh.

That is my life way too often 😂

Sweet Karma: he was a MAHA anti-vax RFK adherent. His infected corpse poisoned all the coyotes who devoured him.

The existential dread made him more tender.

Guess there are places you can’t even relax for a sec 🤷‍♂️

Coyotes, no prob. Wolves, prob.

Exactly why I stay in hyper mode all day every day 24 7

Not funny. Yeah, they'll make a meal of Fluffy but that's more on you than them.

It's not so bad. After five minutes of their... interaction... you hardly feel anything. Heck, if you're like me you'll even calmly enjoy their tail wagging at that point. (Sated Coyotes are a bit like dogs...) 😜

This is not funny this really happened to my uncle

Love this! Chronic anxiety sucks. Make sure you stretch or it becomes chronic tension in your 40s!

Coyotes are our friends.

Oh, wow. He didn't even get WOLVES? The economy is in shambles.

Those coyotes are always waiting, watching....

Dude, I live in Trump's America. You think a pack of bloodthirsty wild animals scares me anymore?

Join us

Pass

Ah, common, not the coyotes.

Should’ve said wolves. No one’s a scared of ‘yotes.

A coyote came to door "delivering a package." I almost fell for it.

Th... thanks, Onion.

And he was delicious.

kabiragorillasafaris.com/uganda-and-r... Ultimate Uganda and Rwanda Safari. The Great Apes of Africa

*Running for years* Everyone: you're crazy, always so paranoid, nothings gonna happen Me: maybe everyone is right, perhaps it's all *slows down* in my h- *dies of the pack of coyotes that was chasing me*

I just ended up booping them all

You better run, because they are hungry and about to strike.

Haha

I should go hiking somewhere. I'll take my chances with the coyotes at this point if I can let some of this anxiety go.

Holy shiish an onion article made just for me

Pants off dance off !