Post

Rockies Pitcher Pledges To Give Up Home Run For Sick Child https://theonion.com/rockies-pitcher-pledges-to-give-up-home-run-for-sick-child/

21/8/25, 7:00 pm75 reposts823 likes

It's been like this since the Make a wish foundation allowed the kids to do online gambling.

david--p.bsky.social

@david--p.bsky.social

Kids In The Hall did it better...

Rip Tie Cut Toy Man 🇵🇸🇺🇦🇨🇦

@tomscud.bsky.social

If this hurts any Rockies fans, keep in mind that they did a nearly identical story about the Astros in 2014

🏳️‍⚧️ emily, spooky scary sylveon

@emilysylveon.bsky.social

in that case, congratulations in advance to the rockies on winning the 2028 world series

Rip Tie Cut Toy Man 🇵🇸🇺🇦🇨🇦

@tomscud.bsky.social

ahh 2013 actually. Disses Jose Altuve by name. theonion.com/dying-kid-in...

theonion.comDying Kid In Houston Holding On Until Astros Develop Player Worth MeetingHOUSTON—Danny Kelvin, a 10-year-old Astros fan suffering from an advanced form of acute lymphoblastic leukemia, told reporters Thursday that he is just trying to hold on until the team develops a play...

Rip Tie Cut Toy Man 🇵🇸🇺🇦🇨🇦

@tomscud.bsky.social

Too bad about the scandal revealed in 2030

Judge Judy and Executive Dysfunction

@judgyjudes.bsky.social

As a Rockies fan, I don't think we can be hurt further at this point. This is just funny.

@guyincognito303.bsky.social

We can't even hurt to feel anything for this team anymore

PMC Vanguardist

@tylerboschert.bsky.social

There would have to be Rockies fans left to hurt first.

🦇🎃 Morgue-an 🎃🦇

@momonaryan.cloud

We exist! There are dozens of us! Dozens!

lucasthetics.bsky.social

@lucasthetics.bsky.social

Oh come on….Rockies fans are a lie Colorado parents tell their kids. Not unlike Santa Claus and the tooth fairy

@sortanonymous.bsky.social

Don't forget the queen of England

dryisland.bsky.social

@dryisland.bsky.social

Be kind

Lawn Enthusiast

@lawnenthusiast.bsky.social

The Onion is funny until it hurts my feelings

@elgenie.bsky.social

Kyle "Burke" Freeland. Come on, fellas, it's one (1) paragraph; y'all are capable of replacing all three instances of the pitcher's name when changing the target of the story.

Not Evil Just Awkward

@noteviljustawkward.bsky.social

Rockies pitchers don't need a reason to give up runs 🙄

@missmoonlight.bsky.social

Tbf, Babe Ruth didn't need a reason to hit a homer for that kid either. That's kind of the joke here.

Not Evil Just Awkward

@noteviljustawkward.bsky.social

Ehh, I was just clowning on the Rockies because they are so very bad

@missmoonlight.bsky.social

Lol fair enough!

@duhasswipe.bsky.social

I love that he is thinking of the ill people in this world

@pablodiablo102.bsky.social

*3 run

@el-condor-pasa.bsky.social

Rfk jr wishes he could be this effective

@tommyz34.bsky.social

Every still image of a pitcher mid-pitch makes them appear to have no bones.

@shemakesmeso.bsky.social

I was actually thinking just the opposite, he looks as if he's only bones