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we are, all of us, just God™ jerking off. In His Image innit.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I die before I wake, I hope it’s while I masturbate.

Erm… Was Douglas Adams’ ‘meaning of life’ 42 a day*, week, month or what? Asking on behalf of tissue manufacturers. *As a teen, maybe I could’ve found it!

New meaning to the second cuming

At some point you have to stop masturbating esp. when a doctor is trying to examine you. Sad but true!

Continually? Oh crap, I thought it was supposed to be Communally!

Thy will be done...

It's not like blindness would stop me.

always say my prayer before bed "God is good. God is great. God gave me hands so I can masturbate."

Way ahead of you, God

Some of us already have.

Is there a missing comma? Commas? Maybe the word "is" or "while."

Happened to me at thirteen.

experience the rapture multiple times a day!

God Emperor of Goon

We are monkeys after all

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of a million women reaching into the back of their bedside table drawer as they YouTube usher confessions part 2.

the goon god

Our Daddy who are in Heaven, Hollowed be thy name Thy sin be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us today our daily porn And forgive us our abstinence as we forgive those who remain abstinent, and lead us into gooning deliver us from virginity For thine is the cock and the balls Forever. Amen.

lol 🤣🤣🤣

god is a gooner