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Aw fuck is he the new Greasy Strangler?

This happened in real life, I saw it. I wasn't in the Steak N' Shake, I was looking into a different puddle of molten beef tallow and I saw it as if through a wormhole

LOL He looks like he himself was fried in that tallow

The only thing that appeared deep-fried were his jeans

Ahah, now we've figured out how they breed, we are one step closer to dealing with the infestation.

I think he was wearing jeans, as he often does when immersing himself.

Are you guys doing real stories now?

The Onion truly is America's finest news source.

His scream alone would be frightening.

"I thought I saw a potato penis in there. It looked really interesting."

“Why do my fries taste like sweaty jeans?”

Still more peer review than the tallow claims got.

To be fair, RFK Jr *does* kind of look like he's taken a bath in a deep fryer.