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the hair. the frames. zuck entering his attempt at a woody allen arc. allen successfully engaged in ethically (and occasionally legally) dubious relationships with numerous women, finally settling on his ex wife's adopted daughter. the problem is zuck has no game. women recoil instinctively from him

there is only one brutish and horrifying game zuck is capable of playing - the game of death played out within his labyrinth beneath the hawaiian jungle compound he had built and excluded from all satellite mapping services. donning the minotaur's fetid visage he pursues his victims in wanton murder

but unfortunately for him, the game may be at its end. all it will take is for his intended victim to be caught, prone upon the ground she looks up to see what horror it is that shall be her end and she... doesn't scream. she laughs. the minotaur isn't a brutish and primal glimpse into our savagery

THE MINOTAUR IS A FUCKING DORK. A FUCKING DORK. HIS INTENDED VICTIM IS LAUGHING AT HIM BECAUSE HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS IN THOSE GLASSES. SHE GASPS FOR BREATH NOT FROM FEAR BUT FROM DESPERATELY TRYING TO SAY "I FOUND HIM. I FOUND WALDO" BETWEEN GIGGLEFITS EVEN AS THE MINOTAUR WAS POISED TO EVISCERATE HER

HIS GAME COMPLETELY RUINED, HE STAGGERS OFF HOLDING BACK TEARS, VIVIDLY FINDING HIMSELF BACK UPON THE CHILDHOOD PLAYGROUND HIS DARKNESS WAS FORGED IN, THE HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAYS HARDENING HIM TO STEEL THROUGH FACING THE LITTANY OF PETTY BULLIES HIS ETHNICITY AND AWKWARD NATURE DREW UNTO HIM LIKE FLIES

and so, completely defeated, zuck crumples to the ground in a pathetic heap. murder no longer satiates him. money brings him no joy. his constructed artificial relationship and children, purchased for optics, are ephemeral to his withered spirit now. he lies lost. unable to proceed, unable to die

he became the golem people jokingly referred to him as when the intimate battle with his hated foe, elon musk, was close at hand. he was ready to tear elon apart. to examine the entrails for the clues to what enabled elon to have had so many children by so many disgruntled wives. the answer was near

only for it to be ripped away by elon's base cowardice. so predictable, yet he had blinded himself to it. gotten his hopes raised. was he this gullible? were women right to avoid him?? could they somehow instinctively know he planned to slaughter them in ritual sacrifice within his labyrinth???