Phteven

Our bowlers have the Saffas on the ropes at the end of the first session, day 1. #SAvAUS

The last few weeks I’ve been trying to focus on genuinely listening to other people, letting them know I’m engaged. What a ludicrous waste of time that was.

🥂The Victorian town of Rutherglen is collecting sparkling wine bottle “cages” to turn into Christmas wreaths in the main street.🍾 Send to:

At daughter's place while a couple of electricians install a reverse cycle AC... they've spent more time on their phones than doing work... majority of calls sound personal. I don't care. I'm not paying them by the hour...but fmd they're worse than teenage girls.

Imagine expecting payment to read this story

The Grinning Turd

Fuck off

Extremely proud of my Sous Chef son whose restaurant, 6Penny, just won restaurant of the year in the Good Food Guide!!! It is a brilliant dining experience.

My first dart strikes Luke Littler in his left eyeball. That £501,000 prize is all but mine. #Netflix

Thank fuck for AI. Left up to me, I just would've said she likes ice hockey and can't empty her cat's litter box... Can't even think of a third point 🤷🏾‍♂️

Woot! No longer have the untidiest yard in The Bronx. You wouldn't think it pissed down rain late yesterday arvo

just put it in the dishwasher like a normal person, far out

Ah well ... @australia.theguardian.com demanding our email now to read articles. That's the end of an era. I'll just have to give them my "spam bucket" email address...folder empties daily...no emails ever read.

THIS IS ME: height - 4' 11" ▪︎ age - 57 ▪︎ sign - For Sale ▪︎ guilty food pleasure - stealing candy from a baby ▪︎ tattoos - "WAY" on my penis ▪︎ fave season - Vivaldi's ▪︎ fave color - off white ▪︎ fave holiday - Billie ▪︎ fave flower - Keith Welsh

New season of Lupin on Netflix. Fill yer boots

Quite a few remixes going around. This is one of the better ones

There's a particular subset of iPhone and Tesla owners who take umbrage at any criticism of the brand in question. We call this subset "bellended power twats"

Buuuurp. Beg pards.

Everything you need to know about the iPhone Duo... 1) you're in a cult. 2) you just paid $4 grand for a phone 3) see (1)

Told the grandkids I'd made them something for Halloween and they looked at me with narrowed eyes and deep suspicion. Until I explained it was a ceiling fan costume...

They won't be alone.

And, hey...if any of you lot are going through shit....reach out. I've lost too many friends to suicide and there's so many of you I consider friends.

Got a mate going through some stuff... Be a man and let them know they're loved.... especially if they're Mob. Our suicide rate is three times the rate of non Indigenous people. Reach. Out. Now.

This is a beautiful song ... there's not many songs released that have this amount of passion. open.spotify.com/track/1Q7aEp...

I'm onto the dance/trance and Daft Punk is playing at my house my house

Also due to her appearance in Cats the Movie.

Onto the Makers Mark and 70's music.... I think it's going to be an early night.

Your boss just called me, you can have the rest of the day off

She's made it to a charger with 13km range spare. Pissed it in.

Detachable penis in my pants

Rightio. This "cost of living" shit just got real

Lamb roast on the bbq. Fucking lobster tails would've been cheaper.

Smells Like Teen Spirit In My Pants

Is the "Labuschagne" experiment finally coming to an end?