Goose

playing through metal gear solid for the first time

I finally got a PS5 I’m so behind on games that’ve released hit me with recs

Fish and onion rings for lunch, I’m about to smell crazy

Right wingers think their English teachers are the feds

This is really gonna fuck up all the special operations and missions I get sent on to save the world

I want to be in the beautiful city of Chongqing

The henchman community has been in shambles ever since you sick pervs took “goon” from us

this app is NOT for politics guys it’s for when you need to tell everybody your balls itch

Fucked up in the club playing wordle

Y’all weren’t bullshitting about breakfast being good for you were you

Yuuuuuuup

wily coyote has a stick of dynamite and hes a comedy genius i have a stick of dynamite and im “not allowed in the airport”

Feeling jolly as hell

2025 can’t possibly be worse for me than the past two years

they call me Doctor Gamer

This site fucking sucks when is Ben Hughes gonna come here

Thoughts and prayers or whatever anyway y’all fw eagles?

Got kicked out of the mall for “brandishing” my gun at Santa

Guy that talks his wife into buying CBD infused pillow cases: I’m honestly sleeping a lot better now.

Remembering how everyone thought this guy was a trained professional hitman

“Yuuuup, looks like concrete alright”

I wanna make up my own fun conspiracy theories, he bought some starbucks to signal that his next target is their ceo

post this on your profile today to make sure federal agents know that everything you posted today was just jokes

[playing frame by frame analysis of the footage] yeah it looks like he was shot

If I was a CEO and I saw people celebrate the death of another CEO like this I would alter my life path

“He must have been a professional hitman” nah police just fail to solve like, half of the murders, so it’s actually a lot easier to get away with than you’d imagine

My fucking heroes man

finally got around to buying kitchen confidential we are so back

Haven’t tweeted in like 3 days and they randomly locked my account for 12 hours ?

mmmmm penut buter jely

Eggo chamber? That’s a toaster

Podcasts count as reading

I think fleets could work on this app, they were a beloved twitter feature

Fuuuuck I’m skeeting 😫

Society has gone hopelessly downhill ever since hooded figures at bars went from guy that’ll give you a quest to guy that’s hopelessly addicted to opiates

Not seeing enough costco guys content on here get to work everyone

Burrito for dinner I have seen gods light

I love that chad muska still dresses like that

GOOOOD MORNING

Donald Trump has hired me and my team to develop new forms of discrimination

what is the governments plan to deal with the imp and goblin crisis

Woke crayons

Pulled a firearm on my stepson for overcooking the hamburgers. Did I overreact?

I don’t mean to virtue signal here but I think pizza is wonderful

This app is alright, but I think what’s it’s missing is some fatal workplace accident videos

Hey man what’s up *spits directly in your face*

The fight that everyone thought was gonna be lame as fuck was lame as fuck????

“Stick with me kid, I’ll show you the ropes” A crossbow bolt hits me in the head killing me instantly