Lemon

Uh oh, the Sex Tips bot went MAGA.

I made a new bot. Give it a follow.

Take his penis and turn it in to the authorities for a sizable reward.

So... what year is it supposed to be inside of a Portillos?

An account with this avatar was just blocked.

...they had training?

Take IN the trash... with dirty talk! While you're getting your freak on, tell him “I didn't think it was possible for sex to jump the shark, and yet HERE WE ARE.” He's sure to be confused!

When was the last time you won a Supreme Court case? And why isn't the answer "today"? kinda.fun/court

To make things interesting, dress up as Margaret Thatcher and scream “The rhythm method truly is the best way.”

Our readers suggest this one: Hide the supersoldier serum in his dinner. When he finds it, dump a Gatorade container of lube on him to congratulate him!

Gwenevere Nutskin writes “My sweetie gets turned on when I show him all my favorite speedruns of games in the Bubsy series. Maximum fun!”

Dress up in your sexiest lingerie and whisper “Today I'm going to roleplay as someone cares about you.”

This is my favorite one all week

I'm not sure how that's possible when Dr Dre hasn't "created music" since 2005.

“When I bend you over the bed, offer my heart up to Quetzalcoatl. It shows me how much you care.” -F. Murray, 25

When he's not looking, grab his penis and glue a small toupee on the tip.

you knew this would happen as soon as we allowed them to have knife guns

I'm pretty sure they sell those at Spencer's Gifts now.

Okay uh put his penis in your mouth?

How the FUCK is this a font????

Ditch the missionary! Put your legs out the window and your hands over his eyes. Now lay perfectly still until he forgets you're in the room. How transcendental!

Want to give him the time of his life? Livestream his perinium until he hands over the microfiche.

Scare his penis from its warren and use a caliper and compare the shaft circumference to the national average.

I made a bot.

Oh good, I found a place to put your "constructive feedback".

Calm down, bitch. What, did I hurt your feelings?

@kthorjensen.bsky.social this you?

You've campered your last van, Beethoven.

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I'm afraid I see two probable poutine crimes on this menu, but I wasn't able to confirm. If anyone does go to Frittenwerk and can confirm criminal behavior, please file a report to notpoutine.ahoylemon.xyz

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.

On another plane! Next stop Berlin. First time ever in Rīga, and it was amazing. I'd love to come back here.

#devsum 2026 is in the books! Now off to Riga. Stockholm was lovely as always. Hoping I make it back

--opening a filing cabinet drawer labeled EXTREMELY MINNEAPOLIS THINGS-- Yeah, I guess the knowledge that my gas station now sells "weed gelato" goes in here.