wait wut?

it feel like it was more "make america great...someday...for some people...in relative terms I guess..."

Breaking: Going Forward, Canada to refer to US as Epstein Mainland

Calling something "flag blue" just to have it come up cash green is a pretty good metaphor for this WH.

BREAKING: The Brady Bunch Kids have pulled out of Freedom 250

If your post ends with "let that sink in" or "think about that for a second" i'm not taking you seriously

Is there such a thing as "too corrupt to fail"?

Do people still think talking to the other side will make an impact? Like congress, like the white house, don't know how crazy this is already? They do, they don't care, and no amount of talking will make them care.

I hear he's changing his name:

Non-zero chance Wednesday's POTUS address is just more cool facts about snakes.

Ever stop and think just how insane the aggregation of his speeches and media posts will look when, after all this is finally over, they're gathered in one volume for the archives?

"warfighter" is a stupid word

A lot of WH briefings would make waaaay more sense with a laugh track

The only thing surprising about the FIFA peace prize is that they didn't give it a wee bit more thought and hire some guy named Noah Bell to award it, or cast it in the shape of an actual Indian "noah bell," so they could legit call it the Noah Bell Peace Prize.

I say we throw hoagies in solidarity

You are not prepared for what you will find in the Major Events Timeline.

It's kind of amazing that a symbolic architectural monument to democracy is being transformed into a symbolic architectural monument to naked grift and techno-feudalism right before our eyes.

Pierre Poilievre fanboying Trump so hard he's got Epstein FOMO

For everyone saying political violence has no place in this country… Remember two Democratic legislators were shot in Minnesota just this year. And America shrugged and moved on.

How can Maxwell's testimony have any credibility if she's been moved to minimum security? On one hand it's an obvious payoff. On the other if she really does think her pal didn't kill himself it's also a threat since she's probably more vulnerable there.

sooo...how's that golden age coming along?

Pretty sure there's a 50/50 chance I wake up tomorrow to discover Ghislaine Maxwell's running the fed

It's wild that he thinks people would have to go to the trouble to make sh*t up to make him look bad.

Breaking News: In a move the WH is calling "doubleplusgood," Gislaine Maxwell appointed commissioner of the Bureau of Statistics.

Either Bongino stays, or he leaves and the disinformation/smear campaign ("he's crazy"/"owned by the libs"/"Biden in a latex mask" / "a Canadian asset"/whatever) goes into overdrive at the WH.

Least surprising breakup since Stephen Miller and his suit made of human skin

I love the whole "it's not cutting medicaid if you decide the people who lose medicaid shouldn't have medicaid" thing.

Breaking news: Pam Bondi demands immediate return of cybertruck exported to El Salvador as a result of "administrative error"

finally some movement

For somebody who doesn't drink he does a great impression of a frat house Friday night. #hanktough everybody

just imagine if he drank

Groceries.

Not just any bear market, this one is totally the Russian dancing kind.

I figure the next step is going after unions even more, since they'll say it's wages keeping manufacturing from coming back and preventing the "golden age". It's already started with the fed workers after all. Then kill income tax, and oligarchic mission accomplished.

Funny story: her name's actually Karoline McBride, but people keep shouting Karoline! Leave it! and now that's what she's called. And she was born in Kenya.

Feeling pretty sure Hegseth also plugged the war plans into ChatGPT asking that they be made to sound badass-ier

And just like that, Pete Hegseth became the inspiration for the wildly viral "state secrets" tiktok trend

Who else thinks now's a good time to hold elementary school classes in Tesla dealerships? Win-win.

I can't help but feel like the current state of affairs is persisting because, after a century of pride in its own moral superiority, Americans are just unable to believe that fellow Americans can actually be this self-serving, callous, cruel, selfish, mendacious, amoral, treacherous, and inhumane.

Just waiting for the stable genius to start talking about how he "learned a word the other day, you ever hear of this word? It's a great word. Lebensraum. Lebensraum is a beautiful, beautiful word. What a word that word. Lebensraum."

cool. so is it midterms yet?

Sure there's some short-term pain to be expected, but after all you can't make an omelette without breaking...oh. Right. nvm.

Remember what eggs tasted like? Man, those were some good times.

I wonder how Robert Mueller is doing these days.

Welcome to the Tesla Chainsaw Massacre

$5million gets you a gold card or a dozen eggs, but not both.

I feel like we're about to learn, again, that you can't run an actual country on gut feeling and symbolic gestures.

Axis of Well-it's-Complicated

can someone please explain to me what the semi-president means by "semi-fired"?