Andrew Brennan

LeBron James: I'm not soft, I'm from Ohio, baby. [proceeds to box out a 6'7", 240 pound professional athlete] Me: I'm not soft, I'm from Ohio, baby. [steps outside in 60 degree weather wearing shorts]

Back in the day, businessmen would have their secretaries buy their kids' birthday gifts. Then culture changed and parents decided it was better to be more involved in their children's lives. It seems we're a step away from the next latch key generation.

A ghost story https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/persistent-shadow

COMIC: The Life Cycle of a Male

PSA for folks now rooting for the Bengals because they snubbed JD Vance: the team owner, Mike Brown, who has a well-earned reputation for being a cheapskate, donated money to Vivek Ramaswamy's campaign. Root for the players, particularly my personal lord and savior Joe Burrow, but watch your step.

Who do you turn to when you find yourself in trouble? https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/dark-matter

A Pacific Gothic short story about memory and identity https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/thirteen-pieces

How often do relief pitchers walk the first batter they face? Feels like a lot

Not all relationships end well. Choose your parting gifts wisely. https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/ophelia

Perhaps this is a controversial opinion, but I don't think stores should display something that isn't for sale. Putting a bogus price on your unavailable objet d'art doesn't make you clever, it makes you an asshole. Kelly Clarkson was right to be upset.

A few weeks ago, Republican members of Congress were complaining that DOJ officials subpoenaed their cellphone records. Today they're sitting quietly as the DOJ raided the home of a Democratic member of Congress less than a month before Election Day.

Getting lost in the woods and the monsters you might find there. blackcanyon.substack.com/p/long-in-the-tooth

It's truly bizarre that law enforcement can claim a person's nervousness around law enforcement is evidence of a person's guilt. As if we haven't all seen numerous examples of cops arresting innocent people and therefore have a VERY GOOD REASON to be nervous around them.

Pitch: an updated version of The Lottery where a society believes it can only advance if it allows it's children to interact with a Kevorkian chatbot. "There was no other way to end the school shootings," says the old lady, whose 8 siblings all perished before turning 18.

"He didn't mean to suggest that Iran should nuke California" isn't the defense you think it is. A president who cannot communicate is just as dangerous as one who would purposely suggest an enemy should attack us. That Trump credibly fits in both categories makes it that much worse.

The police find a dead body buried in the backyard but you're not worried. https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/pins-and-needles

I like sports. I've also sometimes felt "social pressure" to know more sports info so that I can make small talk with certain people who I don't want to offend. But having an AI-run fake sports team wouldn't relieve me of that pressure. Because it's fake. And everybody knows it.

If you have to explain why Donald Trump *didn't mean it* when he called for the destruction of two U.S. cities, then you've already missed the point. This is the President of the United States giving a prepared speech, not your drunk uncle jonesing for another Wild Turkey.

the tech industry is about to invent books

If somebody attacks Los Angeles or San Diego, I will assume it was Donald Trump, not Iran.

Today I'm thinking of the Iranian ex-pats who celebrated on the streets of Los Angeles when Trump started the war against Iran. A small price to pay.

It is not possible that Jordan Battle is a top 64 safety in the NFL. Or a top 32 strong safety. Bye week is coming, #Bengals.

A short story about two men and a dead body https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/pins-and-needles

tracing Japanese managers challenging an ump’s call, I’ve watched this 500x

You didn't vote for a war in Iran, but you voted for a chaotic, unintelligent, uncaring person to be your leader. These are the natural, predictable consequences of your decision. Instead of saying "I didn't vote for this," try saying "I voted for the wrong person."

Here's a short story I wrote about bad breakups. https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/ophelia

Has there ever been a dystopian novel where the dangers of technology were perpetuated by an immoral president owning stock in the technology? I feel we're not appreciating the fact that Trump has essentially invested in nuclear weapons.

If it turns out that Eric Schmitt's conspiracy theory was based only on a text message with a random row and seat number, it's pretty amazing that the only game he could find that day involved the Hawks. If it had been any other team, he wouldn't have been accused of confusing it with Hawkeyes.

I don't think enough attention has been given to Donald Trump trying to rename Artificial Intelligence. He's George Costanza throwing out bad ideas that nobody asked for, scoring points in a game nobody else is playing, so that his plaque on the White House Walk of Fame will include "renamed AI."

Is this a good time to remind the Bengals thst they have to play against Darnell Washington twice a year? Maybe they should have a plan for stopping him. I mean, is Tre Flowers available?

Mike Rogers is a corporate sellout who moves back to Michigan every few years to run for office to take another swing at the revolving door of corporate politics.

Bengals defense coming back down to earth. Hate that it's against the Steelers

Friends, let me share with you the stupidest person on the planet.

great piece. man social media is a cancer themomoftheyear.substack.com/p/im-the-mom...

why are the midterms any part of this decision might be a question

A short story about getting lost in the woods and the monsters you might find there. blackcanyon.substack.com/p/long-in-the-tooth

I'm not one to air customer services grievances on social media, but it is endlessly frustrating that my INTERNET PROVIDER has such a shitty website. Frontier / Verizon can never provide basic info the first time you look for it. Tommy Tuberville should investigate the furries working there.

I get the argument that liberals should reconcile with Trump voters finally see the error of their ways. But that conversation ends immediately if they say "well, who else was I supposed to vote for." If you can't even imagine voting for Kamala then you're not trying. Enjoy your ride to Rock Bottom

Be careful before you sign that dotted line https://blackcanyon.substack.com/p/persistent-shadow