Andrew Singleton

"Gather around, everyday working people, and allow me to lay out a grand vision for a brave new world. A world in which all economic functions are done by computers and robots. A world where the very concept of having money no longer exists (for all of you)."

SO GOOD

The examples in this article are very amusing.

"Ben owns a farm. He employs 100 workers. His total payroll is $10 million/year. One day, he buys a mule, which provides the worker who uses it with a modest 10% productivity gain. Ben fires 99 of his workers and purchases 99 mules, expecting a 1,000% productivity gain..."

"Acquiring one grape costs Alex $2 billion. Alex offers to sell Mike one grape a month for the next 12 months for $1 billion per grape. Alex asks for the full $12 billion up front and provides Mike with one grape for the first month..."

"Jenny owns a crematorium. John’s propane company gives her a $20 billion investment in return for 5 percent of her operation. Jenny throws $10 billion into the incinerator, then pays John $10 billion to buy propane to burn that money to ashes..."

Fucking gold

"Xavier owns an apartment that he rents out at a loss of $1 billion/month. Seeing this success, he decides to make financial commitments to construct $850 billion in new apartments in places nobody wants them...."

Huge thanks to @edzitron.com for helping me write my latest McSweeney's piece. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ai-...

The worst thing about the current AI discourse is that it's just so. fucking. boring.

Why aren't salads making us hot? An investigation. substack.com/home/post/p-...

"Why am I not ripped yet?" - Me after eating one salad

Can one more person follow me, then no one else follow me ever again please? Not for any particular reason or anything.

Do you guys feel like you're getting a "personalized" experience?

Got a new one in McSweeny's today

"In the future, there is such a thing as money. But there’s no such thing as your money. All the money is our money."

I'm writing a book. Isn't that stupid?

"Seriously, I don’t care how much it costs. Take every dime I have. But know this: I would level my house to the ground before I paid slightly higher property taxes to fund infrastructure that would prevent a landslide from leveling my house to the ground."

This piece I wrote back in January is trending again. It's almost like this a foundational societal problem we need to solve... www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-w...

It's been 15 years since the rent was too damn high. How too damn high is it now? howtoodamnhighistherent.com

JD Vance is Nixon if Nixon weren't drunk all the time.

I still think Stephen Miller's greatest crime was writing the lyric "lovery-dovey lovey-dovey lovey dovey all the time."

I'm just gonna relentlessly promote this piece of writing until you read it and share it so you might as well just do it and save us a lot of trouble. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/the-battle...

Ever more relevant open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

Here's a funny little apology from God, if you feel like you deserve one. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/im-god-and...

It's early in the news day, but I have a hunch this will be relevant again by around noon. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/money-baby

Hey y’all, check out this short story I just wrote about how having too much money turns you into a giant baby. It’s relevant! open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

Seeing a lot of "if the liberals are mad we must be doing something right" shit lately, and I can't stress enough how fucking stupid it is. monkeybullets.substack.com/p/why-are-th...

@aoc.bsky.social Payments are frozen right now to a great number of people who desperately need them, many in swing states. The Dems have a fundraising machine that brought in $1b in three months this summer. If there's ever a time to put your money where your mouth is as a party, it's now.

In today’s Flash Fiction the News, a dad measures his son’s erections and convinces himself he’ll never die open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...

Seems like a good day to talk about how much money it would take to literally crush your skull, for some reason. open.substack.com/pub/monkeybu...